Why oh why?

I wanted to max out my Dell running XP Pro from 2 to 4 GB of RAM. Diagnostics through the third-party vendor showed 4 GB max. I installed the new memory sticks and the computer is showing 3.25 GB in Control Panel --> System. Under Help --> Get Information, it only shows 3 GB. After reading through this thread, my OS will apparently only recognize 3.25 GB. I guess it's all fine and to be expected, but I'm curious about the discrepancies. Any clarifications will be appreciated.

Why do the cards take such force to install? I've installed additional memory in at least four computers from Dell and HP. In all of the computers, these delicate cards take so much force to install. Why? I can understand they need to be properly seated, but nothing short of brute force seems to work. Why can't there just be a gentle click of the clips for the sticks after precise alignment?

Jhampa, thank you for posting the question. BTW, my computer is noticeably faster with the additional RAM.