Networking & wireless forum: Need help choosing a router (needs certain features)

I'm in the market for a new router. Performance isn't my main concern but of course it is a nice bonus. I'm looking at an Asus Black Diamond because the price is reasonable and the performance earns a little bit of drool. But I don't know much about the specific firmware features, or any router for that reason. Trying to find the specifics of the software side is quite a chore, and not really feasible when I'm looking at tons of possibilities.

What I'm really looking for is:

A) White listing - Preferably by URL. I like learning about networking but I don't like it enough to learn about IP tables unless I have no other choice.

B) Individual device bandwidth caps. Or some method to keep devices, and their users, from running rampant. We just had caps introduced on our service. Nearly a decade of unlimited and they throw this at us without warning... Come on Google, give us that ridiculously fast (and free) fiber in north west Arkansas!

DDWRT and openWRT apparently both have some kind of white listing feature but from what little I've heard, it's less than ideal. Gargoyle seems like it would take care of both those needs but it looks clunky and perhaps buggy. It also has a very narrow range of hardware support.

I know there's more custom firmwares that I'm not aware of out there, but I'm not aware of them so...

I'd like to see a router with the default firmware supporting those things. Should be dual band and offer at respectable performance.

Everything else is second to that though network printing and USB (NAS) do seem nice.

Let me come out and say that I'm playing catch up on networking. I've not messed with it in nearly 4 years and I wasn't that savy to begin with. So if It sounds like I'm talking out my bum... well it's probably because I'm talking out my bum.

That being said thanks for any help you guys throw my way!