Spyware, viruses, & security forum: The "rules" they are a changing (aka Bob Dylan)

It used to be easy.

1 - Only run 1 antivirus program at any one time to avoid program conflict. By all means, install a 2nd as back-up, but just make sure the 1st is disabled before running n 2.
(I use Norton 2009 with Avira as back-up)

2 - Install several antispyware programs (there is no conflict between them). The justification being that no one program will pick up all the spyware out there.
(I use A-squared, Malwarebytes Antimalware, SUPERAntiSpyware plus Spybot for the teatimer "realtime" protection.

So my 1st simple question is what do I do now with the current trend to combine antivirus AND antispyware protection in one package (for example Avira AntiVir Personal Free).

More importantly, can anyone suggest a really good source to help identify False Positives for spyware. When I seek advice from the program suppliers themselves, they all throw the ball back to me and simply tell me how to whitelist (or whatever) the suspect False Positive. As an example, A-squared said to whitelist "Heuristic.Dialer.RAS!A2" if I thought it wasn't spyware. I DONT KNOW IF IT IS SPYWARE. THE A-SQUARED PROGRAM FOUND IT - NOT ME. The dialer was inside c:\Program Files\PC-Doctor 5 for Windows\pcdrmodem.p5x which came bundled with the PC so do I assume it's innocent?

I guess what I'm really looking for is a single source where I can tap in the "spyware name" as reported by "ABC" program, and which will simply say Yes it is or No it isn't.

Incidently, I installed my new HP Pavilion Elite running Vista Home Premium on 9th Jan 2009 (No operating problems, nothing, nil, nada - just really pleased with performance!)

Thank you in advance for any help you can supply.
Peter