Spyware, viruses, & security forum: How do you keep your kids safe online?

There are plenty of options for reducing the risk of inadvertently stumbling upon inappropriate content on the web...if technology in the box was the answer, the problem would be like it is today. Internet safety is a hot topic as children are introduced to computers at a younger age than ever before. Schools have them as positive creative tools for five year olds...and as they become integral to life in the home, the very youngest minds will see them as soon as they can crawl. The best defence lies not in the machine, but in the child...this solution involves a more difficult and comprehensive approach than organizing access denial on a particular machine, yet it is a more thorough and lasting approach that provides safety even when the child is with computers you have no control over. It can be argued that at some point or other they will be exposed to inappropriate information or images on the web...this is almost inevitable; what will determine the outcome of this is whether the child finds this to be a rewarding experience. We are dealing with professionally generated "eye candy" so the challenge is huge, but the best outcome from such exposure is that the child thinks "This does not help me with what I want."...some children know how to turn the TV off when the programme is boring or violent or inappropriate...why? It does nothing for them, they have been brought up to make choices in their lives that benefit positive outcomes rather than choices that generate weaknesses. This forum arguably places over-emphasis on age...very young children are so emotionally unequipped and inexperienced that something that might be used to excite the mind of someone in puberty would only make them laugh. Indeed, what might increase a tiny child's curiosity is the thought "How come something on my computer can make my parent get so excited?" Perhaps the parent gets to be more intense with the child and the child senses they are now a greater focus of interest...well that might be considered to be a "reward" factor by the child, that kindles the notion that they should do it again! Some answers to this forum include comments like "now my kids have grown older..." as though the problem goes away with adulthood...but if we are honest, that is perhaps where the problem starts. If adults did not allow themselves to part with money in return for access to nefarious industries, there would come a point where inevitably, such industry would cease to exist...just reward!

One of the greatest problems with America today is children running households, and not parents. Having to have this, and having to have that, and mom and dad stumbling all over themselves to make sure they get what junior wants. Privacy certainly has its place, but that place shouldn't be the internet. Letting your children roam free on sites like MySpace [which is full of porn and degenerating music]in the name of privacy is what I would call irresponsibility on the part of parents, and an unwillingness to really comes to terms with what opportunities your negligence is providing. The internet world is not a friend of parents, and like it or not we need to deal with it accordingly.

Sorry if I step on some toes here, but some people need their toes stepped on to wake up.

All women who are living in households with men, even the most "religious" ones, must be diligent about searching their own "home" computers. My shocking experience didn't come from a website. It came from what was sitting on the hard drive of my own computer. A great number of predators, or even those taking the "next step" from hours of "innocently" surfing porn, are living with normal families with children either under roof or have visiting grandkids.

Learn to check your hard drive, ladies. Protect your kids and other women's kids.

Actually, statistically she is correct. Most online predators are men.

Oooh! Maybe you shouldn't allow a computer or a net connection in your house? Time to get a grip.

First of all, I deal with combating many of the things parents worry about every day. As an IT manager, part of my duties include making sure that my employees aren't running rampant on the web. For you at home this can be done free and easy.

The link below is the Cnet/Download.com link for K9 Web Protection. This is a small footprint program that will not allow anyone to go where you don't want them to. As a hack of 16 years, trust me, I've tested it. There is only one "backdoor", being the use of a proxy, which is easily disabled through the custom interface given by K9. BTW, no, you can't just uninstall the program either.

http://www.download.com/K9-Web-Protection/3000-2162_4-10652167.html?tag=lst-0-1

While k9 can protect your children (or your spouse) from accessing unwanted sites, it cannot, sadly, protect your children from online predators. To be honest, there isn't anything in the world that can protect you or your kids from the bad things in life (digitally, or physically) better than knowledge. Talk to your kids, make sure they understand how to be responsible on the net.

That being said, I would also recommend two other pieces of software.

1) a keylogger. Check Cnet for a list of available, free, keyloggers. There is some misinterpretation of whether this is "spying." That's up to your to decide. Personally, my staff know that their keys are logged, and reviewed. That way they don't say things they shouldn't

2)McAfee SiteAdvisor - Yeah, this is a work in progress, but if you use Internet Explorer, you'll find this a nice addition. This program actually checks the sites your search engine brings up and "grades" them based on what the community has to say. While I'm generally not a fan of McAfee, this is a good, free product. When they port it to Opera (hint, hint) I'll pick it back up for my own use.

As I saw stated in another reply to this post, your own awareness of what your children are doing cannot be replaced by any of these. These programs just make it a bit easier to keep an eye on them. Make sure your take an active role in your childrens digital development.

Hunter.

I watch over my kids when on the internet. I consider the internet a hostile environment for them

I am also on a Christian myspace type site called Xianz.com

I run a group there called Kids Safe online
where i provide basic online safety help
and counseling to young people

we must protect our kids

Tom
Traverse City, Michigan

I use Spector Pro software, which monitors ALL computer activity. They even have packages that allow you to do it from remote locations. I have the basic package and find that it works well. It captures screen shots (in increments that I determine), it records ALL keystrokes, it captures outgoing and incoming emails, all websites visited, chat conversations, etc. My family is aware that our computers have it installed, and they are aware that Dad checks it:o) It has proved to be a GREAT deterrent to undesirable activity and/or exposure. Granted undesirable exposure could still happen by accident, but with password access ONLY and living room computer use ONLY it is just not issue we have had to deal with in the 3 years we have operated in this manner.

Protect those little ones,
Craig

I don't even bother to try to protect my children online. I have no problems with them seeing sexually explicit stuff online (Not religious at all, so I have NO problem with sexuality and them seeing sexual stuff). I don't bother putting filters on my machine, because they are a pain in the ass for when I want to use it to surf for porn or something else that the software thinks is verboten.

The only things I ever told my children about safety on the internet are things they have to do themselves to protect themselves: 1. Don't give out your real name, address, etc. on the internet, unless it's a non-specific thing, like the town or city where you live; 2. Don't make a meeting to meet ANYONE who you met online in real life, unless they tell me when they are meeting this person and have me or their mother go with them to the first meeting to scope the person out; 3. Do NOT make plans for a sexual encounter with someone online, unless you have met the person before in real life.

Those are the only three things that I have told them about safety on the internet. My daughters are smart and savvy enough that I tested them on how long it would take them to get around a filtering software when they were 7 and 9, 8 years ago. It took them less than 30 seconds to go online, find a hack for the software, and totally disable it with the option to turn it back on after they were done.

That totally turned me off filters forever.

Really, it's time to start letting children grow up, stop trying to hide information from them, and allow them to make their OWN sexual morality, not this religious sexual BS that is pushed on them by people today.

Sounds like you let your kids view porn on the internet because it makes it easier for you to do so. The porn industry on the internet and elsewhere is a really big business - obviously there's lots of customers. I don't see how porn has anything much to do with sexuality. It has to do with making money.

My children have requested software to filter porn after clicking on email and viewing a porn video that managed to degrade women and African Americans while illustrating creative uses of a baseball bat - all in one charming 15 second clip. I am surprised at how effective the filters have been, actually.

With my daughter (10) having a "moveable" laptop, it's hard to keep track of where it's at. We usually have her hooked up to the downstairs bedroom where there is a lot of foot traffic between my wife and I, so we can "pop in" any time we are passing by. (Door is always open, even when friends come by. They can be the worst influence of going to the wrong web sites.) Sometimes she brings it upstairs to her bedroom to do homework. (Again, door open, and my desktop (office room)is in the bedroom next to hers.
And as a kid would do, she sometimes watches TV and surfs the I/N at the same time! But again, we can see her.

Through Yahoo, I can determine the time she can be on the computer, sites that are restricted, and it gives me list of sites she has visited via e-mail.

The old tried and true method still works. TRUST! Start young and help your children grow into someone you can trust. Instill good values and a good sense of right and wrong, TALK about what they _will_ eventually come across. Oh, yeah, and if you prove to them that you're someone they can NOT trust (see previous posts on this thread about reading all their email, etc...) they certainly won't feel bad about hiding things from you.

You help children by sharing your experiences and mistakes so that they won't have to relive them all to learn from them. They think, they feel, they're alive. Work with them, not against them. Build some trust.

Hi Teeje - I am in complete agreement with your sentiments, BUT, a lot of concern is over the ACCIDENTAL linking to inappropriate sites and unwanted Pop-ups. These and other nasties can invade a home computer without any invitation. I have a 10 year old grand son who is a wonderful child and like many of his age spends quite a lot of time on the home computer. There is absolutely no way he would go searching sites for porn or nudism or anything inappropriate, he is still enjoying the 'age of innocence'. But, if the computer does not have some kind of filtering installed no amount of counseling is going to protect him.

Regards JIMBO

Maybe this was already addressed, but do any of the blacklists people have mentioned also keep track of websites that can be used as proxies? For instance, Google's Translate tool can be used to access any site you want. Just go to http://translate.google.com/translate?u=whatever-site-you-want.com. Do any parental control programs attempt to restrict that kind of stuff?

Children's Educational Network is a software company developing and marketing a fully integrated suire of internet software products that empowers parents to provide children a safe platform and meaningful tools to accelerate their children's education, entertainment, and exploration of the "Information Superhighway" free from hate, violence, pornography and online predators.

Our TUKI (The Ultimate Kids' Internet) Kids Safe Browser aggregates the most fun and safest content on the web for kids, deemed child appropriate based on our content policy. It features inerchangeable themes, internet filter, parental safety controls, safe email, chore reminders, encouraging words and talking animated characters.

Parents have become aware of the need for Internet safety, education online protection tools and the need to monitor children's use of the computer in the home. The marketplace for such products is in tis infancy and is emerging quickly. Based upon the unfortunate statistics regarding the online victimization of children, and in the increasing proportion of inappropriate content, it is tragically apparent that this is a growth marketplace.

Please take the time to visit our websites:

www.childrenseducationalnetwork.com
Claim your Free Software at www.TUKI.com
Claim your Free Safety Reports at www.KidSafe.com

Best regards,

Selena Ponce
Executive Coordinator
Children's Educational Network, Inc.