Spyware, viruses, & security forum: How do you keep your kids safe online?

The new windows vista home premium comes with a great system. it filters through every site that they go on, stops them from downloading and listening to things without a password that only I know, and it only applys to non-administrator account's, and the account type can only be changed by an administrator! This is the best system to use!

Most of us who are engaged on the front lines of Internet Safety will chant the same mantra.

Education: Builds competence and confidence, necessary traits when approaching tasks foreign in nature as it is for most parents trying to help guide their children in cyberspace. Cyber what? That place where minds connect via the Internet. Like any physical neighborhood, there are places parents should allow their children to roam for the benefits that it returns, and places they must help them steer clear of for the perils that lurk there.

Interaction: Builds trust. If they don't trust your judgement, they won't follow your direction. Only problem is interaction also takes time; Time many parents are simply too lazy to devote or too burdened with acquiring wealth rather than striving for a higher quality of life. This one comes down to values and priorities. What's more important? Working extra hours to drive a BMW instead of a Ford? Or driving a Ford and having that extra time to spend with your children?

Monitoring: Also part of interaction. Children should know they are under their parents protection which creates a comfort zone for them to operate in. Just as in the real world, so too in Cyberspace. It is generally prudent to incorporate some form of monitoring. Whether it be locating one computer in a heavy traffic area of the home for Internet access or monitoring software, children should know they are accountable for their actions. It is rarely a good idea to install monitoring software secretly. If they find out you have just thrown away a great deal of trust that it may have taken months or even years to build.

Protection: Stuff happens. There's no way to completely avoid it. All one can really do is their best to prevent it. Kids riding their bikes without a helmet are more likely to crack their skull when they fall. The goal is not to fall but to protect in case of the fall. Computers without any filtering or antivirus are more likely to stumble across inappropriate material or contract computer viruses and trojans. For younger children, the TUKI web browser is an ideal part of a parents portfolio of tools. It also makes sense to use a good antivirus product such as Trend-Micro which I personally reviewed at http://www.surfsafely.com/ , filtered search engines such as mine at the same URL which will then branch into Google SafeSearch and other fine resources.

Restrictions: Build distrust, foster resentment and provide incentive to circumvent. By restrictions I mean unreasonably imposed time limits or filtering so tight the only web address one can visit is disney.com. If you reach this point where the child simply will not obey and will circumvent every measure you impose, not even canceling your Internet service and discarding your computer will stop him or her. Children are intelligent and resourceful. They will get their fix at a friend's house or Internet caf hotspot. Please go to the top of this post and start over.

Be involved. You can't ignore the Internet and it's not going to go away. It can be a tremendous asset to you and your children or a cesspool waiting to devour. The choice is yours. If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice.

All the best to you and your families.

Mark Brasche
Founder and CEO
SurfSafely.com
http://www.surfsafely.com/

...it is very popular with teens and young teens. You may discover that your daughter has a myspace even if you "don't let her". She can set up a myspace and log in at a friend's house. If she gets one (on your home computer) you can set it up so all the messages come into your email account so you can see who is contacting her. You need to learn how to get her password so you can go into her myspace and take a look. You should know how to look at browser history and you should have parental control software on all your computers at home. Your daughter needs to understand that everything she does on her computer at home is monitored (by you) just like at school. You certainly CAN have control of your daughter's email so that she can receive messages only from people YOU approve.

BTW, Myspace does not allow users younger than 13. And users age 13 to 16 are automatically given "private" spaces that can only be seen by people they approve. Myspace is doing more now to keep that environment safe for its users.

I was responding to a parent who did not allow his/her child any social internet connection at all. I was suggesting that the parents learn how the internet, IM, chat, texting, etc works so they can allow their daughter to do this stuff safely just like they would teach any other social skill. Like the telephone: they let her use the phone but they don't listen in on conversations because they know who their daughter calls or texts. AND they pay the phone bill where all the phone numbers are listed right on the bill. But if they are clueless about computers how will they have any way to keep her safe or teach her good social skills she needs to learn?

Kids are on the internet far far younger than 14 and if nobody is watching over them, they can end up with some pretty goofy notions.

For example, it seems that someone led you to believe that internet communication is private. When you were a kid, surely your parents taught you that privacy on the internet is an illusion. Not only could nearly anybody easily access your deepest emailed secrets about Santa Claus, but your belief in Santa is STILL residing on a server somewhere and probably on many other computers besides that - even if you thought you deleted that message. The general rule of thumb is not to put anything into an electronic message that you wouldn't want published on the front page of the New York Times.

What is your plan for your children?

Yes teenagers deserve privacy. The best thing to do is to TALK (wow what a novel idea) about safety on the internet and teach them not to talk to weird strangers who solicit sex.

I am 18 and am a teenager & I think the idea of not allowing social networking is ridiculous. If you educate your kids they will not meet up with child predators.

I think the your "children are your property" idea is completely wrong and ********. You don't own them. If you aren't going to given them some level of privacy they won't develop into healthy adults.

You know they are human beings & not your property.

If someone like you were my parent I doubt I would be able to have felt free enough to write a political blog read by thousands of people & ended up going to Georgetown. (why because kids don't tend to spread their wings or be as creative with their parents breathing down their necks)

American needs to let up on the parents have the right to be awful dictators to their children unless they hit them attitude. Trust & compassion are necessary or your children will backlash.

I go to a private school & those people whose parents gave them some privacy but protected them tend to make better decisions than kids whose parents gave them no privacy (they are the ones who tend to make all kinds of stupid decisions in college because there parents were overprotective.

This is a country about freedom, if you want a country that is about no privacy & complete safety then go to somewhere else cause that is not how this country is.

This is by far the absolute best recommendation to anyone. I even said as much in my post.

I have an older teenager, with a PC now in his room. I keep close tabs -- I check his history and downloads frequently, and I use a filter I'm very satisfied with:

I've been using a hardware filter device called the iBoss, from a company called iPhantom, for about six months. It costs $80, with a $5/month subscription. It sits between the modem and the router, so it filters all the devices in the house. There's no software to install (the controls are all accessed from the browser), and it WORKS! It's niether perfect nor flawless, but I give it an A- overall.

To supplement the iBoss filter, I recently ordered Snoopstick monitor software from Cybersitter. Haven't received it yet, so I don't know how good it is, but it comes with a 30-day return. I'll post a reply here later, with my comments on the Snoopstick

Check out the iBoss. And CNet -- please create a listing for the iBoss, so I can post a more thorough review.

Archus,

I also have the iBoss and have been using it for over a year now. The Linksys WRT is NOT a content filter you would even consider. Typical router with so called controls. If you enjoy entering all the site you "Think" your kids will visit then its the one for you. Have you even purchased one to make this claim? Are you currently using the filter? I read alot of reviews and am activlely searching for great filtering and have to say that yes the iBoss has limitations in that I would like to monitor chat rooms conversations but if you have 3 kids each with there own computer, its really cheap for what you get. I was using software but besides it being bypassed by my kids with software hacks and the HUGE feeling of intruding on my kids to install it on there computer, I felt as if I was degrading my trust in them and babying them. This was installed, non intrusive, and VERY powerful. Suggest a try

Linksys used to contract with Netopia for filtering on this device, but the filterning service has long been discontinued. Also, back when they did offer it, it was not free.

This is such a relevant topic and one, I'm sure will continue to grow in importance. My kids are grown up now but my grandchildren are all heavily into computers and the net. My eldest son has 5 children and he expressed to me his concerns over them accessing inappropriate sites. He was also concerned about their use of 'chat programs' and the dodgy characters who use these sites. So I did some investigating, and this is what I found:

There is a very good FREE program available called "K9 Web Protection" which denies access to any sites within designated genres. It is password protected and, as long as the kids don't know the password they cannot disable it, change any of the settings or access any banned sites. The parent or guardian, however can still visit any site they wish by simply applying the password. My son now has this program installed and it works wonderfully well, I highly recommend it to any concerned parent.

Programs which monitor and report chat room activity are another matter. There are no freebies that I can find and there are lots of commercial releases to choose from. After some serious scrutiny I decided to try "Stealth Chat Monitor 1.5", it costs $19.95 (which is at the lower end of the scale) and offers a 5 day free trial. I found that it worked very well. It is well hidden and can only be accessed by applying a designated password. I struck a small problem when it would not display the reports, so I sent an email to their 'support team'. Their prompt reply indentified and explained the reason for the problem and gave a succesful solution. I was all ready to buy the product and began the process when I was directed to their registration page, that's when I struck a snag. Boy, did they ask for some personal information, too much, much more than I deemed was necessary or warranted. Some people may not be put off by that but I am always wary of giving TOO much information so, after consultation with my son we decided not to go ahead and have temporarily put the project on hold. Sorry I can't be of more help, but if anyone knows of a good and inexpensive chat monitor program they can recommend please let me know. Good luck to all you concerned parents (and grand parents), I hope my contribution has been some help.

Regards JIMBO

First, I used a HOSTS file to block inappropriate sites from being accessable on any browser.. (I also "hid" the folder where the HOSTS file resides and setup "limited" accounts for each user..)

For those interested, see the link below:

How To Use A HOSTS File

Second, I had the computer setup in a room where we all could see any activity going on.. Nothing was secret. At the time, we had ONE computer and ONE television.. Both were in a common room where everyone could see what the other was doing.

I never really had any computer-related problems with either of my girls or the friends they brought over to the house.

Hope this helps.

Grif

It's not impractical at all.. EVERY bad site I have problems with is there.. In addition, it's updated frequently.. Currently, the HpHOSTS file I use has 58,523 "bad" sites listed.

Of course, if you know about any additional sites, the HOSTS file can easily be updated...or you can submit the site to the HpHOSTS site and they'll add it to the file.

Hope this helps.

Grif

...frequently. In fact, we use a HOSTS file in our office environment as well. It prevents almost ALL spyware infections, as well as incorrect surfing of "bad" sites. Still, nothing's perfect...

And if my kids tinkered with the HOSTS file, they lost computer privileges. When my kids were going to junior high school & high school, we only had one computer and they didn't want to take the chance of losing those privileges. Same with my employees at work.

Hope this helps.

Grif

A couple of years ago we got a virus and installed a new wireless router with a good firewall. That router also provided Parental Control software for a small yearly fee ($49). In that time our children (ages 11-16) have never had a bad experience. We had one e-mail slip in just a month ago that showed a side shot of a nude woman (for male enhancements) and that was the first time it has come close to objectionable material. You have the option to block domains that you want, allow those that you agree to, and set those levels for each child (or adult).

Rick
www.TheDigitalLife.net

Hi Donna - The issue here is children accessing inappropriate sites, NOT spyware and adware.