Windows Vista forum: Translation please.........

So I was excited to receive a free wireless laptop mouse but have been dismayed that I was not able to get it working although I am somewhat tech savvy. It is especially disappointing as the instructions promised that I would enjoy a "beautiful life from the high technology" as well as enjoying "freely wireless space." Try as I may to follow these very clear instructions, even pulling the battery cover "rearward" and waiting until I heard a "crack" knowing the battery compartment was locked, it's not working. Apparently I'd better use the mouse mostly on white desks if I want to save power. It mentions a 3D mouse pad but I'm not sure if it recommended or not. I haven't seen one lately although perhaps in China or Japan or wherever this translation was done, they have them! Unfortunately I can't attach the manual here but thought you all might get a chuckle:

Attention Please
Please don't make the mouse far away from the receiver in order to work more smoothly.
You'd better use the mouse on the white desk, in this way the batteries can be used longer time. Please remove the batteries if the mouse will not be used for a long time.
This mouse with save power sleeping functions, please press any key or scroll the wheel to wake up the mouse when it is sleeping.
If you want to take off the mouse power,please continue to
press the ID switch of the mous e bottom over 3 secons.
If you want to take on the power, please click the ID switch once again.
The optical mouse will not work freely on a smooth desk, glass, any reflecting surface, 3D mouse pad.
No need to check the digital connection within 10 seconds when change the batteries, if more than that please according to the above way to re-operate.