Community Newsletter: Q&A: Share with us some of your e-mailing etiquette
- 11/2/07 9:51 AM
E-mail ettiquite
by nkfroth - 11/4/07 1:51 PM In reply to: Share with us some of your e-mailing etiquette by Lee Koo (ADMIN)
My approach is simple and appropriate for me as I receive only 30 to 40 emails a week. I might not be appropriate for those that deal with a much higher volume of e-mail, but it works for me.
I do not open forwarded email even if I recognize the senders name and I do not forward e-mail to others. If an e-mail requires a reponse, the entire original e-mail is included.
Any concerns about wasting bandwidth is trumped by the knowledge that the issue to which I responded has been clearly identified, both in fact as well as in context.
The same goes for any e-mail delivered to my e-mail box that is not specifically addressed to me is immediately deleted.
There are rules ...
by clett - 11/4/07 4:45 PM In reply to: Share with us some of your e-mailing etiquette by Lee Koo (ADMIN)
Hi Forum Participants:
As a prominent etiquette expert, I teach e-mail etiquette every week. There are rules that should be followed but most people using it lack education in business letter writing. We often forget that e-mails sent to and received from businesses are business correspondence and should meet the same standards as a typed letter in a stamped envelope. The same should be true of personal correspondence. E-mails are just a quicker delivery service of the same correspondence you would send to a friend without the time and effort of writing a letter with paper and pen.
Regarding your received e-mail - if it has also been sent to a list of others, that list is not yours, even though it is visible to you. If you intend to reply to the sender that there is a problem with what the sender wrote, do so directly with the sender. Reply to all is only supposed to be used if you all are known to each other and perhaps need to confirm that you are aware of an event all the others are aware - such as a change of venue for a meeting.
Here are some other rules that are generally accepted rules of etiquette when using e-mail.
Don’t Cry Wolf
Some e-mail systems allow you to tag messages with such terms as “Urgent” or “Priority”. Avoid these unless the message really is very urgent. All e-mail is delivered instantaneously, so the use of those messages doesn’t get it there any faster.
Receipt Requested
Use “Receipt Requested” sparingly. Some services allow you to request a receipt indicating that the email was actually read. Use it sparingly. Some people view this as a sign of distrust. On the other hand, it can be useful if you are not sure the person actually logs on to the service to read e-mail. This feature is best reserved for those situations where you really do need a written record that the mail was received, or when you are not sure whether the person logs onto read his or her mail.
IT Never Dies
Be aware that e-mail can be archived and, under some circumstances, may not be secure. Online services and e-mail companies protect the confidentiality of subscribers’ e-mail. But some internal- mail systems are not secure. There are companies that consider their employees’ e-mail to be company property and subject it scrutiny.
Regardless of the system you use, e-mail, like mail and phone records, can be subpoenaed by a court of law in certain situations.
Identify Yourself and Your Subject
If the recipient doesn’t know you, give them a simple sentence or 2 describing who you are and why you’re sending them e-mail. Don’t just start in with the message. And in the message, try to let the reader know, as soon as possible, what you are writing about.
Many services allow users to type in the subject heading. USE IT! and it shouldn't say "Hello" or "How are you?" Those and similar subject lines will send the e-mail straight to the spam folder on most person's machines.
Use Humor with Care
Be careful with your use of sarcasm, irony or even some forms of humor. It can be easily misinterpreted.
Unlike phone calls or face-to-face meetings, there is no interactive feedback from the other person, so clues like smiles or a warm tone of voice that might soften a comment are missing. Also, don’t forward jokes you receive by email without letting the recipient know and asking permission.
Use Common English
Unless you know that the other person appreciates such things, be judicious in your use of slang, dialects and other unusual forms of expression.
This is not to say that you shouldn’t be expressive and personal, but it’s best to stick to normal conversational language.
Know Your Recipient
Different people have different ideas of what is acceptable. Find out and respect each person’s wishes. If you don’t know the other person, it is best to be more conservative. Avoid sarcasm or anger and go lightly with humor – it can easily be misunderstood.
If you know the recipient, and know his or her tastes, then there is little to worry about. But if you’re posting a public message or sending a note that is likely to be forwarded to others, behave you would in a public forum.
Control Emotional Outbursts
Everyone gets angry, sometimes. Be careful how you express anger on e-mail. An angry, emotionally charged e-mail message could get you in trouble or embarrass you. If you are tempted to write an emotionally charged message, it’s best to write it “off-line” and let it sit for a while before you send it.
Remember, on most services, once a message is sent, it is out of your hands. Unlike the Postal Service, there’s no cooling-off period between writing a letter and depositing it in a mailbox.
Be Respectful
Some people who are otherwise pleasant and civil become rude, disrespectful or easily angered in using e-mail. The apparent anonymity makes them feel immune from standards of common decency.
Well, you are not anonymous – especially with services that automatically post your name or ID number. Remember that there are human beings on the other end of that email. The people reading your message will be as hurt, angered or insulted by rude email as they are from rude speech. E-mail is not a license to abuse or insult.
Use Email Whenever Possible
The biggest abuse of e-mail is lack of use.
Always ask if you may contact a person by email. Some people, especially in social relationships do not wish to correspond by e-mail.
Why play telephone tag with someone when you can send a message and log on later for the answer? Why waste paper from fax machines when e-mail will do the job, often for less money?
Read Your E-mail
Unlike a fax or posted letter, email doesn’t get “delivered”. You have to log on and read it.
If you use e-mail, check your mail regularly. Some people subscribe to e-mail services, publish their names and never bother to log on.
Be Up Front about Copies
If you distribute copies of a message, it’s considered common courtesy to let the addressee know who else is receiving it.
Some services allow you to send “blind copies” - that is, to send copies without informing your original recipient that duplicates of your message are going to others, too.
Before using that feature, consider how you would feel if people distributed blind copies of letter they addressed to you.
Don’t Be Pushy
In some situations, copies are used as a way to intimidate people – especially if you tell them that you’re sending a copy of your message to their boss.
Aside from seeming to be using intimidation, sending unnecessary copies of your message can be annoying to the people who receive them.
Be Succinct
Consider the recipient’s time and, on some systems, the online charges that may accrue.
Some people love long messages - like they love long letters. Others find them annoying. One problem with long messages is that sometimes the important points may get lost.
Don’t SHOUT
Many people express concern about too many capital letters. They may be used to emphasize a word or 2 in a message, but not for the entire message.
Using all capitals for an entire message is perceived by many as “shouting” and it makes the message more difficult to read.
Remember-You are on Record
Because of the informal and conversational nature of e-mail, it’s easy to forget that it is a written communication. Unlike phone calls or personal conversation, there is a written record that could come back to haunt you. Anything you say in an email message can be saved, printed or sent to others.
Relax and be casual, but try not to write something you wouldn’t want to see printed on the front page of The Washington Post. It may well get there.
Use Cute Symbols Sparingly
The surveys revealed mixed reactions to the use of symbols, or icons such as <G> for “grin” or little frowns or happy faces that you make with the keyboard, such as 
or 
. Some accept them as people “having fun”.
But others feel that the text itself should be used to convey any emotions and such symbols are unnecessary. As with other new terms, they may wind up someday as acceptable parts of our vocabulary on-line.
copyright The Lett Group 2007
www.lettgroup.com
If you would like to know more about the etiquette of e-mail, please visit our website and our blog at http://etiquettepro.wordpress.com
Cynthia Lett
If it's an Urban Legend, and it's false...
by PaulMmn - 11/4/07 6:28 PM In reply to: Share with us some of your e-mailing etiquette by Lee Koo (ADMIN)
If I receive an "Urban Legend" type of email, and I'm pretty sure it's false, and I verify it's false at http://snopes.com, I have no qualms about "Replying To All" and letting everyone know this legend is NOT true.
I've never been chastised for sucha thing, but even if I am, I'll continue Replying to All.
--Paul E Musselman
Don't forward emails
by camerams - 11/4/07 7:19 PM In reply to: Share with us some of your e-mailing etiquette by Lee Koo (ADMIN)
It is rare for me to forward emails other than those which have been sent to only me(as opposed to those sent to multiple recipients). I, generally, cut and paste the body of emails I'm "forwarding" into my own email with an introduction indicating from whom the email was received and the subject matter. That solves an awful lot of problems encountered with the format problems inherent in forwarded emails, the need to open multiple emails, and the address list included in emails sent to multiple recipients. People see only my address as the sender. The email is spaced correctly, and recipients only have to open one email. I'm not sure why other people don't do this.
Email etiquette
by Sandovh - 11/4/07 7:55 PM In reply to: Share with us some of your e-mailing etiquette by Lee Koo (ADMIN)
Hello, everyone! My advice and practice is to write to everyone the way I would like to be written to: positively, encouragingly, and if corrections are necessary, presented in as positive a tone and words as possible. I also believe in opening with a cheerful and respectful greeting, just as one would do if speaking to someone for the first time. As a closing, I also like to include some well wish to the recipient. We all do that in normal conversations whether in person or over the phone, anyway.
On the issue at hand, by sending the addresses of all copied individuals, the original sender was telling everyone who all was in on the confidence and implicitly creating an audience for any follow ups.
When one of the recipients saw the need for correction, it was understandable that this person would want everyone on the list become aware of the correction.
The best way to avoid such happenings is to do what has already been suggested by several postings: use the blind copy line and thus replies can only be sent only to the original sender.
Good day to all,
Sandovh
E-mail.. a little common courtesy.
by mm2kanda73 - 11/4/07 8:37 PM In reply to: Share with us some of your e-mailing etiquette by Lee Koo (ADMIN)
I have read a few interesting discussions on e-mailing. But seems like the worse sinners in my family are the same people that would probably never send me a chain mail (snail mail) yet they send me more "junk" mail then I know what to do with. If I actually do get something funny enough or interesting to send on to my friends I do my best to clean them up. Remove other people's e-mail addresses or all those tags at the bottom from other web accounts etc. UGH!!!
My mom has the worst habit of cap-lockin' in her e-mails. I have tried to explain to her that people feel that is like shouting. And for the fact she's been online for years she just doesn't seem to get what I'm telling her.
When it comes to work in this day and age is any joke worth your job? Sometimes you have to remind family members (if they have your work e-mail address) that if they even remotely question the e-mail then send it to a personal account so you can read it on your own time at home. My best friend works at a company that after like 5 minutes her e-mails are viewable by anyone in the company. I have worked for a few companies that have mirrored everything I've done on the computer. Which at one place I worked with a gal who would constantly delete (or atleast she thought she was because she was deleting her history) I just watched her and laughed.
E-mail Etiquette
by lschuber - 11/5/07 4:00 AM In reply to: Share with us some of your e-mailing etiquette by Lee Koo (ADMIN)
It all comes down to the KISS principle. Keep it short and simple.
Email etiquette - Refuting Hoaxes
by ormondm - 11/5/07 5:24 AM In reply to: Share with us some of your e-mailing etiquette by Lee Koo (ADMIN)
Like Gordon, I get messages that are "warnings" that turn out to be completely untrue. I do not respond to all, only to the person that sent it to me with a link refuting the original email. I leave it to that person to set the record straight. However if it is something really bad (like the Obama email), I will respond to all the people I know personally.
As far as any rules, I think we should all stop and think before we send an email. Think, "Do these people really have time to show they are my friends by sending this email to 10 people and me?" or take the time to find out if the email you are sending contains reputable information. I tend to delete - without reading - any chain emails. So far no really bad luck has passed my way nor have I lost any friends!
Replying to All
by Voltinator - 11/5/07 6:40 AM In reply to: Share with us some of your e-mailing etiquette by Lee Koo (ADMIN)
If the person who sent the E-mail CC'd several email addresses and the information the sent was incorrect, then Gordon had every right to reply to all to refute the information.
People forward messages blindly; there are many people who believe what they read if they know the person who forwarded it. You can check the facts on snopes.com and I'm sure there are other web pages that can be checked as well.
Email Etiquette
by intoexploring - 11/5/07 6:49 AM In reply to: Share with us some of your e-mailing etiquette by Lee Koo (ADMIN)
At first this topic seemed pretty simple. However, a little common sense is needed:
1. Pertaining to Gordon's situation, it's usually best to reply to the originator only, and let the originator decide whether or not to set the record straight with the rest of the addressees. When Gordon replied to all, it caused embarrassment to the originator and that's generally not a good thing, especially if they are friends or co-workers. However, in terms of a more general informational email like something one may send or receive at work, it will have varying degrees of pertinence to those on the distribution list. If, as a recipient, you feel the need to discuss the contents of such an email, don't use the reply all function. Take a moment to single out those on the list to which the information is pertinent, or just reply to the sender and give him/her the opportunity to decide on further dissemination.
2. Like many others, I have an extreme dislike for chain emails since most of them are untrue or a waste of time. The rule of thumb I use is to ask the originator to please omit me from similar emails in the future - noting that I don't have time to read them and don't want to mistakenly delete something from him/her that may be substantive. If that doesn't work, then I will either set up an email rule to trash anything from him/her, anything that begins with "FW:", or just manually delete them going forward. It depends on the relationship I have with that person.
3. If someone does feel like it is necessary to forward a chain email containing a warning or something along those lines, that person should verify the information prior to doing so. Bill Gates isn't going to give a million bucks to someone that forwards an email. Yahoo isn't going to shut down free email and IM next month. The world isn't going to end tomorrow. Verify stuff like that thru Snopes or another resource before sending it on.
4. Keep automatic signatures under control. You don't have to include links to every online resource that you have, or include pictures of your children at the end of every email.
5. Avoid terse emails. This goes for both originated emails and replies. Cut down on repeated exchanges by including all pertinent information the first time, and be sure that you are clear in what you are communicating.
6. Last but not least, my pet peeve is careless and sloppy use (or no use at all) of English, spelling, punctuation, capitalization, etc. in email. I can understand that sort of thing with text messages on cell phones, but not email. There's no excuse. Sending a poorly composed email also sends the message that you are a selfish uneducated slob with a poor work ethic and don't care about courtesy or etiquette.
bcc vs. cc
by lpady - 11/5/07 7:36 AM In reply to: Share with us some of your e-mailing etiquette by Lee Koo (ADMIN)
I have been scolded for using cc instead of bcc as well. And I've also seen how damaging NOT using bcc can be - as in the instance of a medical office sending a mass e-mail and not using bcc. All the recipients then had the e-mail addresses of all the other recipients. Not only bad etiquette, but also a violation of HIPPA. As far as replying to all when correcting a bogus e-mail, I'm all for it. I believe the onus is on the sender to check their facts prior to sending. If they're willing to put everyone's addresses in their e-mail, then they should also be willing to be corrected in front of all those recipients. I have done so and will continue to do the same as Gordon did. As a previous poster said, the writer was probably embarrassed by the public chastisement. There are way too many urban legends, chain, and spam e-mails floating around to have my e-mail box clogged up with more. If I can stop some of the scam/spams, why not! I do my best not to forward jokes, etc. since I'm pretty sure most people have seen them. If not, I'm sure someone else will eventually forward them. BTW, one of my pet peeves is when forwarding e-mails the ">" marks aren't removed or the line breaks aren't cleaned up. Or, having to open e-mail after nested e-mail to get to the original one! Probably just a little to obsessive of me but it annoys me to no end. If I ever *do* forward something, I copy from the original e-mail and paste it into a fresh one.
JMHO
multiple email recipients
by jonepone - 11/5/07 8:30 AM In reply to: Share with us some of your e-mailing etiquette by Lee Koo (ADMIN)
Anytime something is communicated, you need to keep the audience in mind. I feel if the person sending the email has multiple emails receiving a copy, then they should expect the recipient to use the "reply to all" option to allow a discussion among the group of recipients. Likewise, the burden of sending separate emails or using bcc is the senders option. If you want it private, keep it private. Don't berate the receiver for exercising their rights to a response. Think before you press "send". I agree with Gordon.
email etiquette
by rwhissen - 11/5/07 9:35 AM In reply to: Share with us some of your e-mailing etiquette by Lee Koo (ADMIN)
Email etiquette should be the same as the etiquette that governs all our other interactions. The general rule, I think, is that one should treat others as one would like to be treated ones self. In this particular instance, the proper course would have been to reply to the SENDER, setting forth the reasons why one thinks the sender's original email was false, or in error, or grossly mistaken, along with a suggestion that the sender might want to contact other recipients of the original email to correct whatever needs correcting.
Only after the SENDER has declined to contact the other recipients would I undertake to REPLY ALL to inform the the other recipients of the sender's error, and then, only if "correcting the record" would have a material effect on a matter of grave importance.
ideas on email etiquette
by Bustaaah - 11/5/07 9:50 AM In reply to: Share with us some of your e-mailing etiquette by Lee Koo (ADMIN)
e-mail is a beast that's been festering silently behind the scenes for well over a decade. We all accept it as a form of communicating with others for anything from a simple hello to sending legal documents as attachments. But somewhere along the line, we seemed to have forgotten about peoples private lives. Because e-mails are sent “behind the scenes” and we don’t see them, we forget there are actually private people on the other end. People with lives and concerns of their own and for the most part would like to keep it that way. Yet when an email is sent to a large group of unfamiliar people, it’s no longer a private affair.
Some of the things I live by, and request the same from those who wish to e-mail me, are:
e-mail DON’Ts:
• DO NOT forward chain mail, all you’re doing is flooding spam filters and email servers with stuff NO ONE wants. I don’t want to knock those who are superstitious, BUT, others on your list may not hold the same beliefs as you and you should respect that by not forwarding these things on to them.
• DO NOT forward religious or any other group e-mail to a blanket audience, unless you've gotten "permission" from each person to do so. We all have our beliefs and faiths, but should allow each individual to believe or have faith in what they choose without the constant borage of unsolicited communications. None of us like spam! If you send out unsolicited email, you’re doing exactly the same thing as the people who send YOU spam! Then we sit back and complain, demanding the government get involved and do something about all the spam (oh no, did I just open that can of worms??).
• When sending an e-mail out to a list of people where some recipients don't know each other, be sure to put ALL recipients on the BCC (Blind Carbon Copy) list then send the email to yourself. No one on the list has any reason to have someone's e-mail address they don't know. (do you remember back when you were a child, and a friend of yours wanted another friends phone number? Most of us were taught to contact the friend in question and ASK if it was ok to give out that person’s information OR we gave that friend the information of the person inquiring and let them get in contact that way.) Why has this changed? Because we can hide behind the curtain of electronic mail and say, "oops, I didn't mean to do that"? Simple common courtesies seem to be disappearing.
• IF someone sends out a “warning” email and you can refute the legitimacy of the information, you MOST DEFINITELY SHOULD reply to all so each recipient that was originally misinformed can be enlightened. There is no sense in perpetuating the panic/paranoia caused by the original warning. BUT, this can and should be done with tact and respect for the sender as the issue may have appeared legitimate to them and they may not know how to verify the topic.
The bottom line is, with all the advancements in technology, we seemed to have forgotten common courtesies when it comes to others time and privacy. Just because we see something that is important to us does not make it so for others. Personally, I have groups created in my contacts for different subjects. Each group has people on it that have either shown interest or have directly said it’s ok to send them this type of e-mail. It’s a little extra work, but in the long run it saves me time and I’m not encroaching on my friend’s privacy.
There’s more, but that’s my 2-cents on e-mail etiquette.
Remember it is mail.
by Swartswaan - 11/5/07 11:31 AM In reply to: ideas on email etiquette by BustaaahAll the replies I've read are spot on. Maybe one should remember things like common courtesy. A good word to go by is; never assume anything. Check against things that work in common life as at home or work/play. I think it goes for cell phones and e-mail. E-mail's granddaddy was the teletext machine in the military/civil service. Even then one had to make very sure on how to address the teletext, as they said then; 'loose lips cost ships' inter alia. Rank and hierarchies counted for much. In this civilian set up there's not much else than courtesy. The people who saw the possibilities wanted to make things easier and better. Why not use it for that, better than simply venting or getting upset about others getting it wrong? Best advice, I think, was to compose it properly and then sleep on it. Wise men keep quiet, then others do not know how much they don't know.
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