Community Newsletter: Q&A: Share with us some of your e-mailing etiquette
- 11/2/07 9:51 AM
Forwards with all of the previous e-mail addresses listed
by coffeecan - 10/25/07 6:27 PM In reply to: Share with us some of your e-mailing etiquette by Lee Koo (ADMIN)
I recently sent an e-mail to several friends with a picture and a cartoon caption attached. In the body of the e-mail was a comment from me concerning the attachment. I thought of the e-mail as a private converation with my friends. One or more of my friends forwarded the e-mail to other people. My comment was not anything I that I would be afraid to say in public. It was a comment regarding politics and political parties.
As a result of a friend or friends forwarding the e-mail, we received several threats and many name calling e-mails. Also our e-mail address was added to some pretty raunchy web sites.
I wrote back to each sender and my friends via bcc: that we would no longer accept any forwards and would not send anymore forwards. I also put into words about how I thought an e-mail to a friend was a private thing and not something to be posted like a forum.
Plus it was so bad that we changed our e-mail address.
I had, several times in the past, asked these friends to please not send us any forwards with multiple addressees and to please just send the content of the forward, not all of those long list of addresses. I especially asked them to please erase our e-mail address from anything that they forwarded.
We had accepted forwards in the past from some of our friends because we thought e-mail was a form of recreation for some of our home bound friends.
So now we have a new e-mail address. And when we get a forward, it gets deleted without being viewed. We do not forward anything.
We were not very smart by thinking e-mail was private and that people would honor some requested common courtesy.
To experience the comments, name calling, and threats from total strangers was a little too much and made me angry that a friend would cause us to be subjected to these mentally unhealthy people.
Then I realized that the fault really was mine for trusting e-mail as being a private thing. We came to a conclusion that we would probably be better off participating in fewer e-mails in the future.
It amazing what a cold turkey severance from doing the several times a day daily e-mail checks to one of every couple of days can do to increasing your ability to time manage your private life.
We still use the e-mail world to conduct business but not very much at all for private conversations, and if we do involve e-mail in anything private, it is very limited. Mostly we avoid using e-mail for anything private.
I don't think it is unrealistic to ask folks, especially friends, to observe common courtesies while participating in the e-mail world.
I have respect for the folks who observe common everyday courtesies and little if any respect for those that don't.
Proper E-mail etiquette falls into those respect guidelines too.
It should not be too much to ask of anyone who is capable of using
the e-mail system.
Yes! Clean up all FWD: emails!
by TNeedy - 11/2/07 4:16 PM In reply to: Forwards with all of the previous e-mail addresses listed by coffeecanI agree! It is so irritating to scroll through a mess of previous email addresses before reaching the actual message! It's not only irritating but irresponsible! I'm sure all those people listed didn't want their email addresses passed on to 1/2 the known free world. I certainly don't want mine forwarded!
It's so easy to clean them up: 1) highlight all the unnecessary old emails, 2) hit the backspace & *poof* they're gone. If that doesn't work, try a batch at a time. Still doesn't work, put your curser at the end of all that mess and backspace to the top. The same should be done with all the advertisements at the end of the email!!
If when you forward emails you put everyone in Blind Copy (BCC) you wouldn't have to worry about other's email addresses being passed on. Both the receiver and the person who sent it to you would really be appreciative. Cleaning up your email is so easy and so nice for the next reader.
copy and paste vs forward
by betheloise - 11/2/07 9:07 PM In reply to: Yes! Clean up all FWD: emails! by TNeedyInstead of forwarding I usually copy and paste the message into a new email. I find it easier to clean, as you get fewer >>> forward arrows, (is it really too much to ask someone to remove the arrows and pull the text into a neat block instead of spaced out in half-lines?), and you can get rid of all the email headers in one action. It also clears the subject line and decreases the possibility you will forward multiple emails. Just my thoughts.
Miss Manners
by Surprisechupka - 11/2/07 10:32 PM In reply to: copy and paste vs forward by betheloiseBravo! That is exactly what I do! It is just the responsible thing to do .... kind of an unwritten ethical code that you protect your buddies, friends, family, etc. However, if it is one of those forwarded emails that I have to start opening and reopening - it is amazing how blindingly FAST my delete button works!
Clean Up!! Tell that to my friends!!
by alijonsa - 11/3/07 4:04 AM In reply to: Yes! Clean up all FWD: emails! by TNeedyNow this is one of the most interesting topics and I am sure we all have pet peeves about e-mails. I clean all my mail before sending or forwarding, I even went so far as to include a Tag saying "Avoid Spam please use BCC instead of To", but does this work NOPE of course it does not. Many people just don't care they hit the forward button and you get an e-mail with hundreds of addresses on, not to mention the end of the e-mail with all the signatures on, or antivirus scan messages. And yes I get an awful amount of SPAM mail, especially from my Telkom, which is my service provider. I have long ago stopped sending mail from my Telkom address and have given all my friends my other e-mail addresses, but I still get SPAM mail, how do they find my address? Well I can go on and on and I am sure all of you have the same problem as I do. But sometimes it is just good to talk about these things and perhaps there is someone out there who has the know how on how to stop SPAM mail for good.
Have a good day everyone... Alijonsa (South Africa)
Just be mindful
by jboroman - 11/3/07 8:06 AM In reply to: Yes! Clean up all FWD: emails! by TNeedyJust be mindful of exactly what you're typing. The written word on the www (emails in particular) can appear to be way different than our thoughts, what we're trying to convey. I have no problem with 'reply to all' when it comes to 'mass' emails containing fictitious or totally incorrect info. Just be very gentle in how you word your response; to the point of almost being contrite. Mainly though, don't perpetuate the hoax or misinformation by forwarding something that you have not checked out. And if you feel you can't 'reply to all' in a gentle fashion, just delete and don't respond at all.
Reply To All
by moonbeard - 11/3/07 6:20 PM In reply to: Just be mindful by jboromanThe Reply To All button should be used very judiciously. However, it is unfortunately abused by some. Among most, the Reply To All button just helps identify who the fools are.
Sleep on it
by dunstergirl - 10/25/07 8:44 PM In reply to: Share with us some of your e-mailing etiquette by Lee Koo (ADMIN)
I'll add only one thing that others don't seem to have covered yet - NEVER EVER send an email in the heat of the moment. Compose it, save a draft, and sleep on it (if it's morning, wait until the end of the day). Look at it again when you have cooled down and be sure you really want to say those things.
In the bad old days, you could write a letter (on paper), then you would have to find an envelope, the person's address, a stamp, and then actually go somewhere to mail the letter. This could take a day or more, by which time you might have reconsidered and burned the letter instead.
Email removes that safety net, and it is too easy to fire off an angry or hurtful email that you regret an hour or a day later, with no way (ever) to call it back.
Re: Sleep on it
by John Sr - 11/2/07 6:51 PM In reply to: Sleep on it by dunstergirlVery good point dunstergirl, anyone could lose a good relationship, friends, & be blackballed in certain groups whom look up to you for advise and friendship, totally agree with you on this subject.
Thank you for posting it.
John
Then sleep on it again
by betheloise - 11/2/07 9:29 PM In reply to: Sleep on it by dunstergirlI had a friend who received an email calling her a liar, cheat, poor and undedicated musician (a low blow because she's played violin since she was 6), and telling her the email's author never cared to see her again. The email printed out 2 pages long, single spaced plain text. Every last alleged character flaw, most of them belonging to the author herself rather than the recipient, was examined. It was brutal, and even after talking to the author no reason was ever given other than "I'm sorry, I was feeling stressed out."
Hopefully no one is surprised the two are no longer friends. The first problem with such an email is that once you send it there's no way to take it back. The second problem is that the recipient can print it out and read it over and over, cementing the words firmly into the memory. Then they can share it with their friends.
Don't just sleep on it, think about it for another day or two. Would you say these things if the person was right in front of you? Do you want them to remember what you have said forever?
SLEEP ON IT
by Philscbx - 11/2/07 10:31 PM In reply to: Sleep on it by dunstergirlBy Far is the best way.
Even a general e-mail will get a professional return.
Never send un-checked word by word. Spell Check or you will look foolish.
This is mail, not chat.
Those of you that have no patients by more than a second to re-read before
you reply blindly is by far the most frustrating waste of time you can do.
Nothing is more frustrating than reading your reply requesting information that
was already given to you, just because you didn't read the entire message.
You just started road rage. More so if we waited a week.
Then we resend the original back again to prove a point.
Edit out forwards of old replies to make it look like you care a little.
Keep only the recent last one so the person knows where you 2 left off.
Edit the long ramble-on's, shorter to the main topic.
Number the lines 1] 2] to make complex issues easier for the reader.
Spacing is important between lines and thought.
I'd rather wait a day longer for a reply that is precisely accurate.
Sending E-Mail to Europe, one has to keep in mind they close up shop very
early and maybe open only certain days compared to here in the US.
I know for a fact that I wish I could reach out and grab that e-mail I just sent
to alter the thought totally different.
Mass Mailings from co-worker friends with 30 other email addresses attached
and you want to forward it to an outside friend.
Copy out the body of mail, then email that friend.
Have respect, Stop forwarding trouble.
If your too lazy to perform task, don't sent it.
Cheers
dunstergirl and JohnSR
by originalpatricia - 11/3/07 4:30 AM In reply to: Sleep on it by dunstergirlSuch good points you make I heartily agree to think before you hit send - that which is printed takes on a different tone - a computer cannot see you smile
For the person who abused and berated for two whole pages - narcissist - stressed out is what you would have been for sending such a cruel letter - bother !! I should have loved to have spoken to you. Even After my Three Shredded Wheat
Patti
Sadly - I need to unsub from this discussion - my time is at a premium
In addition to Philscbx's thoughts
by meini - 11/3/07 3:28 PM In reply to: dunstergirl and JohnSR by originalpatriciaPut your thoughts in proper sentences with sensible punctuation, so people can understand you.
Sleep on it
by golfcats1 - 11/3/07 4:22 PM In reply to: Sleep on it by dunstergirlYowza! You said a mouthful!! I have blown more friendships coz even tho I re-read and re-read something and thought it was an OK tone- people did NOT take it the way I thought it sounded! And yeah - you can NOT take it back!
Remove previous addresses
by JoMilton - 10/26/07 3:07 AM In reply to: Share with us some of your e-mailing etiquette by Lee Koo (ADMIN)
I'm not a technical person so I don't know the correct terms for this, but when I forward one of those "funny" emails that arrives in my in box trailing hundreds of other people's addresses I REMOVE those addresses before forwarding the funny onwards.
There were some people of my acquaintance who hadn't given me their e mail addresses. Error, or deliberate omission? Not sure. But I have them now, in fact I have lots of addresses I wasn't meant to have because of those careless forwarders.
I have received mails from people of whom I've never heard because my address hasn't been removed from a forwarded mail. So I ask people to delete the previous addresses before forwarding anything I send them.
| Forum legend: | |
 |
Locked thread |
 |
Moderator |
 |
CNET staff |
 |
Samsung staff |
 |
Norton Authorized Support team |
 |
AVG staff |
 |
Windows Outreach team |
 |
Dell staff |
 |
Intel staff |
