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Spyware, viruses, & security : How do you keep your kids safe online?
- 4/2/07 2:22 PM
Monitoring children's activities on the internet.
by fishermanmagic - 4/11/07 10:49 PM In reply to: How do you keep your kids safe online? by Lee Koo (ADMIN)
I have a monitor screen in the kitchen and can see every thing that is on the screen in the kids bedroom. They give you all the arguments why they should have their privacy so I took the computer away from them and they now have all the privacy in the world with no one to disturb them with e/mails etc. They missed it so much that they have agreed to our terms to have it back. Their mobiles have to be switched off and placed in the phone cubboard with all calls directed to the house phone while they are at home. They are 10 & 12 years old now. Too late to train at this age so we have had these rules in place for the last 5 years. You have problems? Don't blame the kids. You are the problem not being a good parent and able to stand the bitching you get when they are 13 plus years. It's been so easy to give in to them and they have picked up on your weakness and use it to the full as they get older. They will leave home just the same if you are weak or not. The eldest told us she was leaving home so we packed her bags for her and asked where would she like us to drive her to?. Not a word along these lines has been mentioned over the past 6 months. Be a guiding parent and not a soft touch and your children have a better chance of not being before the law courts in later life.
Making it work
by stemcells - 4/12/07 4:14 AM In reply to: How do you keep your kids safe online? by Lee Koo (ADMIN)
There are plenty of options for reducing the risk of inadvertently stumbling upon inappropriate content on the web...if technology in the box was the answer, the problem would be like it is today. Internet safety is a hot topic as children are introduced to computers at a younger age than ever before. Schools have them as positive creative tools for five year olds...and as they become integral to life in the home, the very youngest minds will see them as soon as they can crawl. The best defence lies not in the machine, but in the child...this solution involves a more difficult and comprehensive approach than organizing access denial on a particular machine, yet it is a more thorough and lasting approach that provides safety even when the child is with computers you have no control over. It can be argued that at some point or other they will be exposed to inappropriate information or images on the web...this is almost inevitable; what will determine the outcome of this is whether the child finds this to be a rewarding experience. We are dealing with professionally generated "eye candy" so the challenge is huge, but the best outcome from such exposure is that the child thinks "This does not help me with what I want."...some children know how to turn the TV off when the programme is boring or violent or inappropriate...why? It does nothing for them, they have been brought up to make choices in their lives that benefit positive outcomes rather than choices that generate weaknesses. This forum arguably places over-emphasis on age...very young children are so emotionally unequipped and inexperienced that something that might be used to excite the mind of someone in puberty would only make them laugh. Indeed, what might increase a tiny child's curiosity is the thought "How come something on my computer can make my parent get so excited?" Perhaps the parent gets to be more intense with the child and the child senses they are now a greater focus of interest...well that might be considered to be a "reward" factor by the child, that kindles the notion that they should do it again! Some answers to this forum include comments like "now my kids have grown older..." as though the problem goes away with adulthood...but if we are honest, that is perhaps where the problem starts. If adults did not allow themselves to part with money in return for access to nefarious industries, there would come a point where inevitably, such industry would cease to exist...just reward!
Many great tips, but privacy is important
by tmccool - 4/12/07 5:15 AM In reply to: How do you keep your kids safe online? by Lee Koo (ADMIN)
Yes, it is true that nothing is private on the Internet. What your teen wants is privacy from YOU. You can achieve a balance between your teen's privacy and your obligation to protect your teen.
First, I made sure my children understood the dangers of the Internet and what they needed to do to protect themselves. When you talk to your teens about this, you might be surprised to find out that they have already heard a lot about this through the media. But it's OK to bring it up and make sure they understand everything.
Random checks of MySpace, knowing their passwords, reading every e-mail, etc., is somewhat of overkill and sends the message to your children that you don't trust them. You should check their MySpace page, but let them know that you want to see it, give them time to clean it up, and then view the page with them. Point out anything you think is inappropriate and why. You can check their MySpace profile page at any time. Make sure that no personal information is viewable.
I use CyberSitter to block web sites and record IM and chat room conversations. I told my children I had no desire to read their conversations with their friends. But if something inappropriate happened, we had a record that would protect them. They understood and accepted that.
I recommend a new book written by Anastasia Goodstein titled Totally Wired. She is not a parent, but she has extensive experience in marketing to teens, and she has spoken to lots of teens about their online experiences. Because she's young (an older sister type figure) and the teens related to her, the teens really opened up to her on a wide variety of online and offline activities. What Goodstein found out was that there are real dangers online, that some of those dangers come from other teens, and that teens are more savvy about the dangers than you might think.
Not more important than protection
by -MiraMis- - 4/12/07 9:28 AM In reply to: Many great tips, but privacy is important by tmccoolOne of the greatest problems with America today is children running households, and not parents. Having to have this, and having to have that, and mom and dad stumbling all over themselves to make sure they get what junior wants. Privacy certainly has its place, but that place shouldn't be the internet. Letting your children roam free on sites like MySpace [which is full of porn and degenerating music]in the name of privacy is what I would call irresponsibility on the part of parents, and an unwillingness to really comes to terms with what opportunities your negligence is providing. The internet world is not a friend of parents, and like it or not we need to deal with it accordingly.
Sorry if I step on some toes here, but some people need their toes stepped on to wake up.
Get Involved with your kid's On-Line Experience
by peterCIS - 4/12/07 5:27 AM In reply to: How do you keep your kids safe online? by Lee Koo (ADMIN)
First -- Learn -- Go to i-Safe.org and netsmartz.org to learn first, then look at www.ryanpatrickhalligan.org to see how bad it can get. (if you are in NH go to events.BeNetSafe.Org for one of our free sessions)
Don't Overact! Learn, then think.
Next -- Get involved - first with your own kids, become part of the online experience, explain to them WHY you are concerned. Discuss with them what they do on-line and try to understand it, or at least some of it.
Now get involved in your community – I did: In 2003 I saw the need to reach out to kids and parents to teach them about this dark side of the Internet. So for the few years or so I have been traveling around the state of New Hampshire on my own time using my own funds, to do just that. Along the way I started BeNetSafe.Org in NH to assist in those efforts. I teach kids and parents about predators and how to avoid them, about cyber bullying and other Internet Safety issues. All for free. This needs to be about helping our kids, I just don't think charging to give these talks is right.
So far I have spoken to thousands of children and hundreds of adults with so many requests for talks coming in I can hardly keep up.
Check with your local PD, they may have a project you can help with. I would encourage everyone get out and talk to even one class of kids about Internet Safety. With the end of the school year coming many schools are holding safety assemblies and the PTA’s are looking for speakers. Plenty of material can be accessed at i-Safe.org and NetSmartz.org to name only two.
If you really get stuck look me up at InfoFromCNET@BeNetSafe.org, but please look at the sites I suggested first, I'm not looking to start an advice column. 
The Predator may be living with you.
by babybiz - 4/12/07 5:56 AM In reply to: How do you keep your kids safe online? by Lee Koo (ADMIN)
All women who are living in households with men, even the most "religious" ones, must be diligent about searching their own "home" computers. My shocking experience didn't come from a website. It came from what was sitting on the hard drive of my own computer. A great number of predators, or even those taking the "next step" from hours of "innocently" surfing porn, are living with normal families with children either under roof or have visiting grandkids.
Learn to check your hard drive, ladies. Protect your kids and other women's kids.
Um, yeah
by Archus - 4/12/07 6:46 AM In reply to: The Predator may be living with you. by babybizSo I'm supposing by this statement that you're saying only men are predators. That's a bit concerning.
That's nice Peter.....
by Archus - 4/18/07 6:09 AM In reply to: Hate to say it but... by peterCISsince you failed to mention, statistiaclly, the amount of males that are sexually harassed, molested, or otherwise sexually scarred by women. Why are the stats on this so low? Because they go unreported or unbelieved. Let's not further the sexual divide in this country by giving the paranoid of this country a little more ammunition. While we are talking about statistics, let's remember that most cases of child abuse happen in the home, not online, and let us also consider how many mothers destroy their children with their paranoia. (my mother was one, so don't tell me it doesn't happen.)
This thread is about how to keep children and adults safer in a digital world where parents and spouses have to look for other clues than just the physical things they've learned to look for. The people focusing solely on abusers, predators, ethics, and morals seem to be missing the point. While your personal morals and those in your household play a big part in the development of your childrenand how they view the enviroment around them, including the internet, it does not answer the question of how you keep them safe on the internet.
Thankfully, those who have decided to stay on topic have provided some helpful answers, whether or not I agree with their solution, it is at least a solution.
Hunter.
The Paranoia Kicks In Hard!
by Beaters - 4/12/07 7:27 AM In reply to: The Predator may be living with you. by babybizOooh! Maybe you shouldn't allow a computer or a net connection in your house? Time to get a grip.
i agree
by Recneps57 - 4/12/07 1:59 PM In reply to: The Predator may be living with you. by babybizyes, no matter who people are, or who you think they are, they can get into this crap. read my post titled 'response' a page back i think, i've got another somewhere in here too, forgot what i titled it though.
Parents, don't worry. It's actually pretty easy.
by Archus - 4/12/07 6:09 AM In reply to: How do you keep your kids safe online? by Lee Koo (ADMIN)
First of all, I deal with combating many of the things parents worry about every day. As an IT manager, part of my duties include making sure that my employees aren't running rampant on the web. For you at home this can be done free and easy.
The link below is the Cnet/Download.com link for K9 Web Protection. This is a small footprint program that will not allow anyone to go where you don't want them to. As a hack of 16 years, trust me, I've tested it. There is only one "backdoor", being the use of a proxy, which is easily disabled through the custom interface given by K9. BTW, no, you can't just uninstall the program either.
http://www.download.com/K9-Web-Protection/3000-2162_4-10652167.html?tag=lst-0-1
While k9 can protect your children (or your spouse) from accessing unwanted sites, it cannot, sadly, protect your children from online predators. To be honest, there isn't anything in the world that can protect you or your kids from the bad things in life (digitally, or physically) better than knowledge. Talk to your kids, make sure they understand how to be responsible on the net.
That being said, I would also recommend two other pieces of software.
1) a keylogger. Check Cnet for a list of available, free, keyloggers. There is some misinterpretation of whether this is "spying." That's up to your to decide. Personally, my staff know that their keys are logged, and reviewed. That way they don't say things they shouldn't
2)McAfee SiteAdvisor - Yeah, this is a work in progress, but if you use Internet Explorer, you'll find this a nice addition. This program actually checks the sites your search engine brings up and "grades" them based on what the community has to say. While I'm generally not a fan of McAfee, this is a good, free product. When they port it to Opera (hint, hint) I'll pick it back up for my own use.
As I saw stated in another reply to this post, your own awareness of what your children are doing cannot be replaced by any of these. These programs just make it a bit easier to keep an eye on them. Make sure your take an active role in your childrens digital development.
Hunter.
Safe Eyes
by akennyga - 4/12/07 6:10 AM In reply to: How do you keep your kids safe online? by Lee Koo (ADMIN)
I use Safe Eyes on every computer I have. It has a great range of features that allows you to grow your child's internet access along with them. For instance you can start them off with just a small list of approved sites, and open it up as they need more. It also logs instant messages and other things so you can make sure your kids aren't chatting it questionable people. I have used a lot of different parental control software through the years, and it is by far the best. Plus if you have multiple PC's, like me, you can protect them for just the one price.
Kids Safe Online
by thumbzilla - 4/12/07 7:03 AM In reply to: How do you keep your kids safe online? by Lee Koo (ADMIN)
I watch over my kids when on the internet. I consider the internet a hostile environment for them
I am also on a Christian myspace type site called Xianz.com
I run a group there called Kids Safe online
where i provide basic online safety help
and counseling to young people
we must protect our kids
Tom
Traverse City, Michigan
Try EZ content control+ EZ Internet Timer
by NKAREN - 11/16/09 4:06 PM In reply to: Kids Safe Online by thumbzillaHi Tom,
I can understand what a challenge it is to protect our children in today's technological world from things we want to protect them from. I suggest you try the EZ content control from www.yoursafetyguide.com
They have a free trial, and I really like their software.
Hope this helps.
-Karen
Toronto, Canada
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