Community Newsletter: Q&A: 2/11/05 What does your kid do on the Internet?
- 2/10/05 3:26 PM
Parental control software recommendations from our members
by Lee Koo (ADMIN) - 2/10/05 5:26 PM
In reply to: 2/11/05 What does your kid do on the Internet? by Lee Koo (ADMIN)
****Parental control software recommendations from our members****
Answer:
Pam,
I had the same problem with my teenage daughter a few years ago. She started using instant messaging with the promise that she would not do anything that she knew was inappropriate. I had been teaching her for years about internet dangers and what to do and not to do. I had AOL parental controls set to block chat rooms and e-mails and so on at the time so I felt that I had all the bases covered and I trusted her. Shortly after allowing her to use instant messaging to talk to her "friends" at school she started frantically closing open Im windows every time I came near. She always gave me some lame excuse when I asked why she was doing this, but I knew the answer already. I did some internet research on available spyware and came across one called SpectorSoft and it sounded like just what I was looking for. I did some checking on the internet for user reviews and found no negative comments.
I downloaded their software that took a couple of minutes and cost only $69.95, and believe me that was the best $70 I ever spent. It can be completely hidden from everyone but you. It has a series of keystrokes that you use to bring up the logon screen. It also has an options tab that allows you to set everything and I mean everything. It is very simple to use and I have had no problem whatsoever with it. A day after I installed it my daughter asked to get on the internet, and after she got off several hours later I checked to see what she had been up to. What an eye opener that was, this was not the daughter that I thought I knew. To make a long story short, that software prevented a possibly bad situation and wised me and her mother up considerably. Needless to say, she was forbidden access to the internet for a year after that. She was dumbfounded at how I discovered this and probably still does not know. One suggestion if you purchase this is to set the screen snapshot for every 5 seconds or less in order to capture everything that is typed since instant messages can be exchanged very quickly and you can miss a lot of it if set for longer periods. I set mine for internet activity only since they can't do much off line anyway. If you are interested simply go to http://www.spectorsoft.com/products/Spector_Windows and check it out. Caution: be mentally prepared for what you discover.
Submitted by: Lew
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Answer:
As a mom of two, I completely understand your concerns. There are quite a few software programs available to check on what is being done on your computer. Spector Pro will record everything that happens on your computer, including recording all chats and e-mails. In addition to checking on your daughters’ activities, you would be wise to install a parental control software to block different web & e-mail activities. These software programs also allow you to monitor her Internet use. I would suggest either Content Protect and Cyber Sitter. They are both good and have slight different features. Content Protect allow you to set up different features for each users, will e-mail you usage reports and you can access the information from any computer. Cyber Sitter can run in the background so users do not know that it is installed.
While there is a ton of software out there that allows you to “spy” on anyone using your computer, please remember that you can not monitor your daughters online conversations if she is at school or a friends house. The best approach for your daughters’ online safety is to educate her (and yourself) on the actual dangers that are out there. Many teenagers do not understand why parents get concerned on this issue and think that we are being “old fashioned”. If you start monitoring her actions and confront her on something she has written or said, expect a backlash from it; remember how mad we got when we suspected that our moms read our diary. Even teenagers need and want some privacy.
Your best solution is EDUCATION. Many schools and communities are offering parental internet safety seminars that are amazing and really hit home how the internet can effect your child and what you as a parent can do to protect them. They have a section for the students as well were the presenter will sign on to a chat room, pretend to be a 12 year old boy and start getting all sorts of information from the other kids in the room. As the students will tell him where to go and what screen name to use, it really hits home and scares a lot of them. In addition as with any activity, set time limits on how long your daughter can be on the computer, and have her use a computer in a main room in the house, one that can be seen if you are walking by, and let her know what is acceptable and what is not.
Submitted by: Julie F. of Newbury Park, CA
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Answer:
I had three (now down to one) teenagers on a shared PC in my home and I grew increasingly concerned with the web sites they might be viewing, the time they spent online and some of the topics of discussion they engaged in via chat rooms. I actually use two different programs in conjunctions with various free content filters to try and keep my kids safe and to help enforce what they already know to be the rules of computer operation in my home.
The first and foremost program I use to monitor what "happens" on the "kids" computer is a great monitoring program called Win-Spy (http://www.win-spy.com). This program not only takes screen shots of the entire computer screen at predefined intervals, it also records every key stroke typed on the keyboard. It also e-mails this key stroke log to a specified e-mail address after so many captured pages. Not only that but you can set-up key word alerts that can trigger an e-mail notification immediately. The other program I use is called TooMuchPC (I don't think this title is still available for download/purchase anywhere) which monitors the time logged into the computer by username/account. I have my kids account set to three hours per day, one hour at a time with a mandatory minimum of 30 minutes "off-line" before they can login again. This program also enforces a "lock-out" period after bed-time of 11:00 PM that nobody can login... logins are re-enabled at 6:00 AM.
I do not know whether the key stroke logger and or the screen captures are "legal" or admissible in say a courtroom type proceeding due to privacy concerns etc. but my kids all know that they are being monitored and that in and of itself is a great deterrent.
I hope this helps.
Sincerely,
Submitted by: Steve W.
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Answer:
First off, let me say that I have two teenage children that use the computer. I am also a self-employed computer repair technician and consultant. These are the steps that I take to ensure the safety of my children and my own piece of mind.
1) The computer is located in a high-traffic public area of the house. I can walk by at any time and see exactly what they are doing.
2) We use windows XP. This allows me to establish separate login identities for all family members. The children’s identities are set to limited access. We do allow the kids to create and use passwords, however since my wife and I have Administrator privileges, and they do not, we can eliminate (or change, in the case of – “No computer use for a week” instances).
3) We use Microsoft Outlook as our email client. This allows me to establish a rule that sends a copy of each email sent and received by the teenagers back to me and/or my wife.
4) We do not allow chat rooms, instant message programs, or games that require you to be on-line to be used. Most of the kids on the internet are actually adults. We would not let our children make random phone calls, or simply walk up to and talk to strangers on the street. We don’t allow it on the net either.
5) Norton System Works 2005 now comes with a “System Optimization” tool that, when used with windows XP, makes it easy to place all sorts of restrictions on individual accounts.
6) Lastly, remember that you are the parent. Take charge. Your teenager will hate you. Teenagers hate their parents. They love you for it later.
Submitted by: Ron O.
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Answer:
My suggestion is to use a hardware based key logger instead. Typically this is a small device that is installed between the keyboard and the back of the desktop PC. Most are very small and look like a regular keyboard adapter. These devices have internal memory are capable of storing all keystrokes typed on the keyboard. They are powered by the computer so no batteries are needed. In addition, no software installation is necessary to record or retrieve keystrokes and most importantly they are completely undetectable by software scanners.
Usage is simple, just plug the device in the target desktop PC and leave it in a day or two. To view the content, unplug it and and retrieve the content on another computer.
I have listed several companies that marketed such devices below. FYI, I am not affiliated with any of the companies listed.
1.) KeyKatcher
http://www.keykatcher.com/
2.) KeyGhost
http://www.keyghost.com/
3.) KeyLogger
http://www.amecisco.com/
As a disclaimer, recording another person computer activities or breaking into another persons computer without his/her knowledge can be considered as an illegal activity. It is the user's responsibility to obey all applicable local, state, and federal laws. A recent legal case involving a hardware based key logger can be found at the following MSNBC's article: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/4595662/
Regards,
Submitted by: Danny P. of Orange CA.
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Answer:
Regarding monitoring a child's usage on the computer, I haven't had time to read the requirements for submissions, but briefly PC Magazine recommends several. I simply surfed "Keylogger" and got to their site.
E-Blaster 5.0 monitors computer usage without the user knowing and has optional remote install if physical access to the computer is not available. There is also Spector Pro 5.0 . These are found at http://www.spectorsoft.com/
The problem is the abuse of these systems to illegally monitor someone's computer activity. I guess the way to deal with that is to be proactive as a computer user, knowing how to prevent illegal access and what to look for if a person thinks someone is monitoring their activity. The purpose of the software was intended for good to assist parents in monitoring their child's activity on the computer when the parents cannot be there to physically do so.
Anyway, the website at http://www.spectorsoft.com/ gives all the information.
If someone uses the software irresponsibly or for the wrong purposes, they may be facing criminal and/or civil charges if caught. I am not an attorney so I cannot advise what the legal ramifications would be; just what I have heard:) I believe it would be wise to get legal advise if there is any doubt...
Submitted by: Barbara K of Huntsville, AL
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Answer:
Hi Pam,
From all the products I have seen and read reviews on, the one that seems to fit your needs the most is CyberSitter (http://www.cybersitter.com/cybinfo.htm). It keeps track of everything, including chatting and email, and runs invisibly in the background so that your daughter will not know that it is running and monitoring her activities. It is also password-protected and tamperproof, no matter how computer-literate she may be.
If you are running Windows XP, I would also recommend (if you haven't already), to set an administrator password on the computer. This way you can always go in and change your daughter's password as well as reduce her settings to a Limited Account, and keep her from totally locking you out of her system. To do this, press F8 repeatedly right as the system is booting up until a screen loads that gives you get the option of booting into Safe Mode. Select the Safe Mode option and let the system boot up (it will look a little different than normal), then select the Administrator profile icon which, if not already passworded, you can click on to log into it. Then go to Start, Settings, Control Panel, User Accounts, click on Administrator, then on Change Password. Create a password of your own choosing and save the information. With this in place, any time your daughter changes your password you can go into Safe Mode, log in as Administrator, and literally follow the same steps as you used to set the Administrator password to change your daughter's password by selecting her profile and Change Password. Reboot the computer and then you will be able to log in as her and see what she's been up to.
I would also recommend changing her settings in User Accounts from a Computer Administrator to a Limited Account so that she is more restricted on what she can do and change (especially downloading/installing programs).
Not only am I a technology support specialist for a state college, but I am also a parent of two boys (one is a teen), so I know how you must feel and hope this helps!
Submitted by: Sherry C. of North Carolina
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Answer:
I found a program called Win-Spy. It works very well and not only does it record keystrokes it also takes real-time snapshots of everything from the desktop to any program that is open. You can also monitor your own Webcam and keep record of it as well. The snapshots are very clear and legible. The default setting is a snapshot every 50 secs. but you can set it take snapshots more frequently. The keystroke recorder is easy to read but I would recommend sending back the keystoke record back to you via email because you get even more detail on every keystroke. Just go to Tools,Options and set up an email address to send it to yourself. Best of all, the program is completely stealth once it is installed. No one knows it is there but you. You simply use 3 keys to open the prompt for the program, enter your user name and password and you can review everything that was done on your computer.
You don't even have to check it everyday. It will save everything until you turn it off. It is very easy to install and use. It works great! The program uses very little resources even when you have it set to the highest levels. You can download it online and it is less than $20. Be sure to put the program on a disk so you won't have to download it again. It is a really good program.
Submitted by: R. Evans
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To the person concerned with parental controls, controlling the words a writer uses is much harder than the words they receive. Earthlink.net has a great parental control system and one can list various topics or words that are taboo. Each of these can be listed. And, the parent
can set up the control word that must be used in order to permit their usage. Even responding to such messages can limit the writer.
The disadvantage is some topics the parent would like to ready are blocked. But, this can be handled by opening a separate account. But then the daughter can access it. Letting the daughter know of the incidents where perverts have conned kids is important. Perhaps contacting the local police department and taking a trip with the daughter there can
be very eye opening.
However, if the daughter does not use the home computer, there are others. I have seen
obsene and porn words used on library computers, despite the controls. Also, the
interactions with peers and others outside of home cannot be controlled. Guidance
can be provided and rules set to discourage illicit-leaning behaviors. Short of a chastity
belt and special software on all the computers she might use, the parent cannot
fully shield the daughter. The parent can see what the daughter is writing. But
invading privacy merely means the daughter will write on computers away from home.
At this stage, if moral values and also role modeling techniques by the parents have not been
long established at home, there is little chance of fully controlling behavior. Short of locking the daughter in a closet with home schooling and no electronic devices available--even
a telephone--good luck! The daughter then might escape from the closet and run away
for a while, getting a lot of what seems mysterious quickly even if danger is involved.
Alan K. of Palm Bay, Florida
Submitted by: Alan K. of Palm Bay, Florida
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Answer:
My answer would be:
Max.com is the answer for you. I've searched and played with several "parental controls" and decided upon Max.com. It's easy to install, easy to setup and manage, and requires a person (like my own kids) to log in as themselves into it's Welcome Screen. You have EASY filter settings, easy NOTIFICATIONS that go out to your own email account, based on whatever EASY levels you set. It's screens are simple, colorful, and not wordy or technical. Everything from instant messenger programs to web site addresses (and even screen shots if you suspect something) is recorded on the Max.com internet servers, which you can retrieve from ANY computer that can hit the Internet. Fair price, good moral company. I'd recommend MAX.com to ANYBODY and EVERYBODY. It doesn't slow down your computer at all, nor your internet browsing. Finally, it has child protection settings that are take from police investigations, that will alert you of any typical behaviors of child-attackers who are faking your children into either meeting them or to give up private information. You can stop outgoing and incoming emails, or instant messengers, by words or by classifications. E-A-S-Y. I've used for about 4 months, and my wife and i wouldn't trade it off for anything else. Now my family uses a "family" login account into the computer itself, and then each INDIVIDUAL person clicks on their own MAX.com icon and enters a password set up by the parent for THAT child, and away they go into internet land SAFELY.
Submitted by: Fredrick M. of Ohio
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Answer:
There are two major types of keyloggers you can find in the market¸ you have the software hardware types:
Software: are programs that record everything you type in the keyboard and can send a log file to an email address.
Pros:
Easy to install.
Some of them are free.
Can send data to email.
Cons:
Some can be detected by antivirus programs Can be detected if you know what you are looking for.
Where to find:
http://www.keyloggers.com/
http://www.spyarsenal.com/familykeylogger/
Hardware: are peaces of equipment that can record every keyboard action, there are many types the most common plugs between the computer and the keyboard.
Pros:
easy to install.
Can not be detected by antivirus.
Cons:
Can be visually detected.
You have to pay for it.
Can not send data to email.
Where to find:
http://www.keyghost.com/?spyarsenal-com
Remember that key logging can raise privacy issues so use it carefully.
For general information you can visit:
http://www.spyarsenal.com/spy-software.html
Submitted by: Pedro L. of Weston, FL.
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Answer:
http://www.snapfiles.com/freeware/misctools/fwparents.html may be one answer to your problem.
I'm not saying it's the only one, or the best one, but...it gets the job done. Snapfiles.com is my favorite site for freeware/shareware, one can find almost anything there, and, nota bene, at no cost !!! Of course, if you prefer the expert kind of approach, you can choose the commercial versions. I hope this will help, have a good
Submitted by: Lucian A.
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Answer:
Hi,
I have been using the I am Big Brother Software for almost 5 years now. It is easy and totally runs in the back ground without the kids knowing. I had tried many programs and this one is clearly the easiest and best one I've come across.The support is wonderful and I've recommended to many. As smart as the kids are most other programs can be found to easily or show that they are running. My kids don't know it's there to this day.Here is a link:
http://www.iambigbrother.com/
Submitted by: J. Carole
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The answer is a program called Family Key Logger. It allows not only for a parent to log all keystrokes and store them in a log file, but it runs in hidden mode and has a special keycombo that allows you to take it out of hiding. search for it on the web by typing the above name in.
Family Key Logger will let you know what all passwords are, and what has been typed on your childs keyboard. So you only see one side of a chat.
Submitted by: James W.
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Answer:
Three words.....Home Key logger Lite. A very small program you install that logs all keystrokes on the PC in question. The tray icon can be made invisible, yet exposed with a hot key command, so only you know it is running. It works great with mutli-user accounts on WinXP. The App creates a log file of all keystrokes made, on which account they were using at the time, and usually in what application or web page they were on when they typed...i.e. Yahoo Chat, AIM, ICQ, etc. I have all my kids'
passwords, login information, and general idea of where they go on-line.
The program is available as a free download if you search for it by name.
Sometimes parents hate the fact that we have to spy on our teenagers, but they don't understand the dangers inherent in on-line activity. It is surprising what they talk about, and what information they reveal, when they are chatting with 'friends' on-line.
My kids now know I track their activities, and have cleaned up their act considerably!
Submitted by: Patrick
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Answer:
You mentioned parental control but I think you need to do some surveillance before buying a program that will restrict computer use.
The first thing I would do is get a keylogger program. Search Google for keylogger. I found many that are free but they don't have as many features. I would suggest buying a full version. You should be able to find one for around $35.
Before you buy a keylogger program, you need to look over the features to make sure the program will do what you want.
Here are some things to consider:
1. Is the program invisible to the user? If your daughter has some computer knowledge she could figure out a way to turn it off if she knows it's installed.
2. How does the program log keystrokes? Does it tell you the time and the programs that were in use? Does it log passwords and hidden text?
3. How do you get the contents of the log file? Some programs will automatically email a copy at set intervals. Some will even send a screen capture.
4. Does it capture passwords and hidden text?
5. Does it log visited websites?
6. Don't buy the first program you see. Read the features list and you will find a program that fits your needs.
If you find that she's been up to no good, your next step could be to buy a good internet filter program, but it may not be necessary once she finds out she's being monitored. Filter programs will block objectionable material and many have some of the features listed above.
Here's a good site that reviews the most popular programs:
http://www.internetfilterreview.com/
Submitted by: Submitted by: Dale L. of Akron, Ohio
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I found a brilliant program called www.watchright.com. On your desktop it comes up as a clock for different areas of the world. Log in a password and you can log any screen name on your computer. It logs emails received and sent, instant messages, websites visited. I have to say it saved me an awful lot of heartache. You can also print off the logs or delete the ones you don't want to save.
Submitted by: Lizzie B.
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There is a program available over here in the UK that is called "Net Nanny" and can be found at ... http://www.netnanny.com/ and does everything you require of it. I've checked the site and it is available from the web-site to download or buy direct.
It is a great program and I've used it when I've had my grand-son stay. It tracks everything you want it to track and a brilliant little program and I willing recommend it to anyone in the world who wants to keep track on children's surfing habits.
Best of Luck. I hope this helps you
Submitted by: Anne L. W.
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I recommend one of SpectorSoft's products - http://www.spectorsoft.com/
If you only have one computer you can install Spector Pro, all information is kept on the computer. If her computer is connected to the Internet via an always on connection, i.e. cable or DSL, and you have a separate computer, eBlaster will e-mail reports to your e-mail.
Both of these software packages should only be installed on computers that you own. They may be detected by some anti-virus software, due to their nature, keystroke capture, generally you cannot tell that they are running, there are no icons displayed.
With Spector Pro all of the information is stored on the machine and you need to be on the machine to view it. With eBlaster the information is e-mailed to an address that you enter. This can allow you to view activity from anywhere you can access that e-mail account.
These programs allow you to monitor your child to ensure that they are making the right choices.
Submitted by: Robert N. of Sterling Heights, Michigan
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Answer:
if you really want to see all that is going on; perfect keylogger will log everything that is typed, also you can set it to do screenshots every minute and alot more... you can get it at
http://www.download.com/Invisible-Keylogger/3000-2381_4-10174508.html?tag=lst-0-2
it has a trial, but is $32.99 to buy but is well worth the peace of mind.
Submitted by: Timothy P.
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Answer:
For monitoring my children's computer access habits; I use a product by WEBROOT called CHILDSAFE.
It provides all of the information I need to verify that my children aren't
visiting unsafe chat rooms or websites. The program records all activity and produces the following:
1. "Block in demand" feature to allow parents to block specific websites.
2. An activity log-All programs opened, closed, etc.
3. A keystroke log-All text typed. i.e.. Chat room, email, passwords...
4. A Screenshot log-Actual screenshots of of anything shown on the screen.
This program can even email these logs quietly to the parents machine if you choose to do so.
I've been using it for years and highly recommend it.
Submitted by: Archer
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Answer:
Surf Spy
http://www.sureshotsoftware.com/surfspy/index.html
This is a great undetectable program that runs in the background while you're surfing the internet. It only logs the URL of each page that you visit. The log file is encrypted and password protected. I run this one at home to monitor the internet usage for my 12 year old son.
Perfect KeyLogger
http://www.blazingtools.com/bpk.html
The basic version is only $24.95 and tracks passwords, emails, IM, and URLs. You have to upgrade to the full version for the application to run completely stealth. The user interface to read the transaction logs is wonderful.
KeyLogger
http://www.mykeylogger.com/
This is a very thorough key-stroke capturing utility at $39.00 for the personal edition. It will capture passwords, emails, URLs and more.
Submitted by: Rob E
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Greetings
The program you need is “good parent V1.0”. This program allows the parent to unplug the child’s machine unless all essential information is presented to the parents. Putting spy ware on your child’s computer will do nothing to salve your problem. If the child is being secretive then all they will have to do is use a friend’s computer to continue in the malicious behavior the child is engaging in. The only fool proof solution to your problem is to communicate with your daughter, establish agreed upon guidelines and enforce them. Your experiencing a parenting issue, not a software issue.
Additionally, the best way to snoop in a situation like this is to buy a copy of Norton system works which has a feature that allows you to recover deleted (and emptied from the recycle bin) files on a computers heard disk. This will allow you to check up on your child past behavior by using a key word search to sort through the old files on your childs computer.
Respectfully
Submitted by: John L.
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I myself , a parent of 2 boys, Use msn. I set all passwords including the age approiate sites they can go to. Msn send me an online report of everything they did and viewed. I love it. It also clocks the time they were on what they seem to be spending the most time doing. I have closed off the chat rooms though. Its not a matter of me not trusting my kids, I just don’t trust the perverts in the world. They do have it to where if you approve their email list you can instant message with them. But those are people I know to be "safe". Hope this helps. Just remember to tell your daughter there are a lot of sickos out there in the world. I know its hard seeing how they just know everything at this age!
Submitted by: Liz N.
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Hi Pam,
I have been using a product called I Protect You for several weeks now, and it seems to do the job very well.
It has a large number of options, including the ability to run it over a home network.
You have the ability to set time schedules to allow or block various activities, as well as extensive logging to show what caused a "protection fault." My only gripe, so far, is that when my daughter's computer is in a blocked time frame, many error messages are generated due to her having IM open, as well as her antivirus program attempting updates, etc. These can be set to be ignored, however, it would have been nice if the major apps were included as defaults. I run this in conjunction with another program called Get it Back, which will not only show you exactly what has transpired, but will allow the user to restore lost data, such as if the computer crashes in the middle of composing a document. It stores all keystrokes, and then "plays" them back into the application, so you may only lose a few keystrokes. It does not, however, reveal passwords. These programs have so many options that I suggest you check out their websites for a more concise description:
www.softforyou.com for I Protect You - free trial available.
http://www.cthtech.com/ for Get it Back - available from discount houses...relatively inexpensive.
Submitted by: Dave M.
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My son has used a program called SpyBuddy, available at http://www.buy-spybuddy.com/, to monitor his sixteen year old daughters online activities for about the last year. Says it works great. Monitors everything; instant messaging, email, etc.
Submitted by: Jared H.
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Eblaster is the way to go. Excellent and reliable program that sends you reports of all the activities on a specific computer. It logs MSN conversation, AOL messages, hotmail, outlook, outlook express mail and all the programs used. It also sends a log of all the keystrokes typed on the computer so you will be able to know passwords and much more. Ideal to control the use of a computer in an office or as a parent control at home. It is impossible to detect.
Hope this one helps answer your question.
Submitted by: Mariela P.
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Answer:
Hello,
There are lots of internet activity monitor softwares,
Here are some of them
1. http://www.spectorsoft.com/
2. http://tinyurl.com/6kl9t
Here is also a website who create a hardware based keystroke logger. http://www.keyghost.com/
Also this is the a website dedicated to monitoring internet activities http://www.internet-monitoring-software.com
Hope this answers your question.
Submitted by: Aditya
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Some good programs for parental control are Cybersitter, NetNanny and Cyberpatrol.
Check out this link for a good comparison
http://internet-filter-review.toptenreviews.com/?ttreng=1&ttrkey=parental+control
Submitted by: Parthasarathy M.
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Try the program: XPCSpy Pro
XPCSpy Pro is a surveillance and monitoring solution for home or office use. This easy-to-use spy software allows you to monitor and record all activities (including keystrokes, Web sites, applications, clipboard information, system activities, Web mail, and chat conversations) on your computer in stealth mode. You can read the activities log at any time, even if you're not at your computer, because XPCSpy Pro can create reports and send them to the e-mail address you predefine, or upload them to another computer via FTP.
Submitted by: WT
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Answer:
If you are looking for a good filtering/monitoring product, check out Safe Eyes 2005 (www.safeeyes.com).
It has many helpful features for parents, including
- access is logged at their server, not your PC. This prevents tampering.
- lots of per user controls for things like IM, sites allowed and even time frames that access is denied.
- instant alerts. If someone hits a particular website, you can get a phone call or text message when it occurs.
It's worth checking out. It costs about $50 to buy, and you can try it free for two weeks first to see if you want to buy it,
Submitted by: Bryan G.
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Answer:
When I have a client concerned about the computer usage of someone in the home or business, I recommend a two pronged solution. I recommend that they do filtering as well as tracking. Pam's need to know what is happening on the computer is answered quite well by SpectorSoft's Spector Pro. It is a very good program which will allow full monitoring of any activity on the computer. I recommend it highly. Anyone using this software should be aware, however, that some antispyware programs will find and (try to) remove Spector or other such programs. Webroot's Spy Sweeper, for instance, sees Spector during the scans.
As for the other part of protecting your children online, I have had fairly good success with a freeware program called "Parental Filter". It has the ability to block and filter pages with certain (user configurable) content. I have seen some minor problems during the upgrade/beta path, but overall it's a nice program to allow parents to filter out unwanted content from their children's surfing sessions. If your child surfs to a page containing unwanted content, the browser is automatically redirected to one of a list of safe pages instead. It is available at Download.com. I recommend Parental Filter for any parent whose children use the Internet.
Submitted by: Mark B. of Weirton, WV
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e-blaster (current version is 5.0) by SpectorSoft is perfect for this!
I have used it for two years and it provides me with an almost instantaneous review of what my daughter is doing on-line. Settings allow a parent to be as "nosy" as necessary - even to the point of receiving keystroke reports! Completely undetectable on the PC being monitored, it allows a parent to customize the surveillance and receive alerts to the use of certain words, visits to certain website within seconds.
Highly recommended!
Submitted by: Gary L.
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Pam,
I can understand your frustration. There is a program that I recently discovered. It is called Be Safe. You can find it at www.besafekingdom.com .
There is a ten day trial for free and they will ask for your credit card but the first time I downloaded it I canceled it just to see if they would.
There was no problem with that at all. The programs main function is a internet filter. You can have it block anything from porn to chat rooms. It also has a feature where it can e-mail you everywhere that she has been. You can even regulate when the internet is accessible or not. For example you can tell it not to work from 11:00 p.m. to 8:00 a.m. . There is a lot more of features on this program. What ever you do take the situation very seriously. I have several family friends that have experienced major issues because they thought it was a fad their kids were going through.
Submitted by: Robert F.
We use two programs
by Guardian2090 - 2/11/05 6:17 AM In reply to: Parental control software recommendations from our members by Lee Koo (ADMIN)
We use two products. Family Guardian and eBlaster by Spectorsoft.
Family Guardian is an Internet filter and accountability program. It lets you set up the content you want each person to have access to and it also logs all web activity on their servers which you can acess from any computer with Internet access. They have a 14 day free trial, no credit card needed for the trial. http://www.familyguardian.net
We also use eBlaster. This program logs EVERYTHING that the computer does, chat, IM, email and all keystrokes. You can even setup keyword alerts so that is a particular name or word appears, it will send you an email alert. It costs $99 and there is no free trial, but we wouldn't let the kids online without it. http://www.spectorsoft.com/
Try PC Tatteltale
by Sybermutt - 2/11/05 6:40 AM In reply to: Parental control software recommendations from our members by Lee Koo (ADMIN)
I too have installed a program on my 12 year olds puter. I found that pctattetale.com was the perfect choice and very easy to use. Rob
Parental control software...
by giorgior - 2/11/05 6:51 AM In reply to: Parental control software recommendations from our members by Lee Koo (ADMIN)
I've used eBlaster for many years and loved it !
My 13-yr old son now just switched to an iMac and I cannot find anything that would allow me to do the same.
Can anyone advise me ?
Some advice
by emrtr4 - 2/11/05 1:39 PM In reply to: Parental control software recommendations from our members by Lee Koo (ADMIN)
I understand that it is important to make sure that your children are safe. But keep in mind, talking with your teenagers and being open with them is important. limiting computer access so your 14 year old son cannot look at stuff on the internet is not always easy. Besides, if they are trying to do something, they will do it at friends houses or some other way. But talking with them, about what to do, what is right, what is wrong will keep them on the right track rather than just blocking their computer usage for a week. If you were their age, how would you feel about your parents doing something like that, all it will do is worsen relations with them, and make them attempt it in some other mannor. So monitor them if you want, but just doing that won't help any situation. I know from experiance that simple diolog, and giving your kid the sense that you are human too raises them with much better judgment, mature behavior, and respect. Its all about understanding and giving your kid the sense that he can also find a friend in you is important. Sometimes teenagers need a friend who can understand them rather than a parent, and you will have to look into your own teenage feelings to realize that.
Alternative software
by BParsons24 - 11/22/05 4:17 PM In reply to: Parental control software recommendations from our members by Lee Koo (ADMIN)
Fort those who want to look over their hard drive for any signs of offensive files that have been viewed or downloaded in the past, there are a couple of good tools, Snitch which can be downloaded from http://www.hyperdynesoftware.com and a similar tool called Media Detective, at http://www.mediadetective.com
These help find adult files, documents, etc. by using some kind of skin color detector that identifies when nudity is in the files. They are reasonably accurate but you need to buy them before you can delete the files you find.
All the best
Our friends recommended us about All In One Keylogger
by apostasy - 7/11/06 7:49 PM In reply to: Parental control software recommendations from our members by Lee Koo (ADMIN)
Our friends recommended us about All In One Keylogger
http://www.relytec.com
for monitor our children.
It is very easy to use; the installation was fast and went smoothly.
The program is extremely stealth, it can be set not to be visible to windows (task manager, uninstall list, startup etc).
It logs all keystrokes including passwords, all web sites and pressed links,nAll used programs and microphone sounds.
And the best - it takes a screenshot every mouse click so you can see every activity.
Parent to parent advice - install this software to find out things you should know before it will be too late.
Reading the chats logs really helped me to better understand some problems my daughter had with some guy she dated with that asked her to do things that she should not do in her age.
Then I knew what the problem was and how to help her.
Except from monitoring, you can have it to block access to sites you do not want your children to surf to.
You can also have it to block programs like files sharing and such.
Works great.
http://www.relytec.com
Removal of safe eyes
by stevewallach - 9/11/06 12:32 PM In reply to: Parental control software recommendations from our members by Lee Koo (ADMIN)
I am a teacher in Austin Texas. A fellow teacher with little or no computer experience had safe eyes installed on her lap top. She has lost her password and doesn't want to pay long distance to get permission to uninstall it.
Please send instructions
steve wallach
[Edited by: admin to remove e-mail address]
Parental Filter
by ecommsec - 10/10/06 10:03 PM In reply to: Parental control software recommendations from our members by Lee Koo (ADMIN)
Miscellaneous member opinions and suggestions
by Lee Koo (ADMIN) - 2/10/05 5:16 PM
In reply to: 2/11/05 What does your kid do on the Internet? by Lee Koo (ADMIN)
**** Miscellaneous member opinions and suggestions****
Answer:
Hi Pam,
You have asked a difficult question, and whilst I am sure that you will get some replies about what software you can use to track your daughter's surfing and email habits, I won't be offering any solution like that. I don't know how other people would tackle what I have to say, but I intend to be as diplomatic as possible.
I am not sure what software options there are, and how user friendly they would be in any case. Key-logging software would only give you a log of what keys were pressed including function keys, punctuation, tabbing keys, shift and caps lock, and all perhaps in ASCII code, the code used by computers for checking which keys are used on a keyboard.
Other spyware would, perhaps, only give you the IP address of any web sites visited. Matching the two up, and making sense of the information may be very difficult indeed.
Did you notice I used the term "spyware"? Because this is, in effect, what you want to do, spy on your daughter. You want to spy on what she does on the computer, where she surfs, who she speaks to, and what she says. You say you have concerns that she may get in to trouble because she has changed all her passwords, and become very secretive, and of course as a parent you have every right to be concerned, and be protective towards your daughter, but have you considered other reasons for the sudden apparent change in her nature?
You say she is a teenager, and as we all know this is a very difficult time for children, especially nowadays. They change from becoming the wonderfully nice and sweet and funny happy go lucky child before puberty to metamorphose into a grumpy, secretive, uncommunicative, hormonally ridden monster of a beast with no manners and no consideration, all within the space of a year or two. I don't have children myself and so have not experienced this first hand. But I have seen it with the children of friends of mine, and I thank my lucky stars I don't have to suffer like they do, (the friends, that is!).
But apparently child psychology experts say all this is normal. The arguments, the laziness, the secrets, the moods, all of this is the wonderful and natural act of your children growing up into adults.
(Yeah, it amazes me too!). But unless you have evidence or firm suspicions that your daughter is being led astray in a malicious and potentially dangerous or harmful way, I don't see that it is right for you to spy on your daughter. My apologies, but I don't think it can be justified, either legally or morally.
This may all be normal. Your daughter is a teenager and she is seeking her own privacy and her own space. It may be that she felt the need to change her passwords. Someone might ask, (but I would never suggest asking such a thing), how you know that "her" passwords have been changed, That if they were her passwords, then no-one else should know whether they had been altered or not. It is possible that she felt her privacy was being threatened, (a normal feeling I am sure for teenagers.
I have seen the "KEEP OUT" signs on bedroom doors), and so she changed her passwords to establish her sense of independence. Everyone knows teenagers are not independent, even the teenagers themselves, and this may be constant source of frustration for them. So changing passwords may be her way of declaring that she needs some space and privacy.
None of this perhaps helps your concerns, or alleviates your fears, and I am sorry that I haven't been able to do that with a simple software solution. I don't think there is a software solution. You obviously do not want to remove the computer entirely from her use, otherwise you would have considered that already. The only solution I can offer is to continue the dialogue between yourselves and your daughter, and discuss the problems and risks that she may come across as she surfs the internet, or uses email, or whatever. I'm sure this will not be easy, but I wish you good fortune.
Sorry,
Submitted by: Mark F.
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I think it's important that these parents recognize that, as parents of a teenager, it is their role to STOP spying on their daughter! This is not a technology question, but one faced by every parent who is lucky enough to have children live to adolescence.
Figure out your own fears, and trust your kid. She may screw up. But she
probably won't - or no more than you did (and if you never screwed up as a teen, you have more to deal with than your adolescent).
Cheers!
Submitted by: Barb of British Columbia, Canada
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How old is your daughter? Let's assume she's 15.
I would say that, rather than spy on your daughter's web surfing and emailing habits, you interract with her a bit more in the real world.
You know, conversation! I'm not so sure you would be sending the right message, or setting a good example, by spying and being furtive – not if you want any sort of good relationship in the future. And in any case, for whose benefit would the spying really be?
Being secretive is a normal part of the process of growing up – keeping a personal diary is an example of something that's meant to be secret.
Doing things your parents disapprove of is also normal. If I'd found out that my parents knew my on-line passwords, I'd change them too.What normal kid wouldn't. Passwords are supposed to be secret.
How about just restricting on-line time, and introducing a few other activities into the proceedings? A bit more conversation for a start. I know conversation with some teenagers isn't always easy, but then not too many adults seem to be so capable in this area these days either.
Anyway, my suggestion is to persevere with face to face communication however difficult. Education is always the best course, even for anxiety ridden parents.
Submitted by: Peter V.
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It's good to know what your child does, but maybe something else is required first. I'd talk with a counselor (one who specializes in kids) if necessary and then I'd get good communication going both ways with this child. I'd limit how much time is spent at the computer (I doubt I'd allow one in a kid's room). I view this like I do the TV watching. Limit the time! And be sure homework is done along with everything else first (household chores, rest, reading, good nutrition, play/exercise, communicating with all in the family, etc.). Perhaps time spent on either should be a reward and be sure his/her computer is out where the family "lives" within the house. This can discourage a kid from looking at anything they desire!
And even if a child or person gets e-mail that would make a sailor blush do NOT jump to any conclusions. My son and I had to deal with an onslaught of kiddy and adult porn pushed at us in our e-mail! I was stunned. I now have a spam program, but people are clever and getting more so daily. A child should feel free and safe enough to tell a parent what s/he is getting in e-mail (watch those chat rooms) or anything else on the Internet. (I love the idea of the Internet as my own HUGE encyclopedia. I still run amok at times because search words are words and some words lead to the "bad stuff."
One can follow anything by watching cookies I would guess. (Also clean up cookies regularly or get a program that does it automatically.) My kids are grown up, but I know I'd have similar problems if they were teenagers right now. Computers are wondrous tools. I used to think every kid should know the computer (and I still do), but the Internet has changed my view on just how much "computering" a kid should do. The Internet is a dangerous place IF a kid just surfs and even hits the wrong site. I'd make really sure there is a very good firewall (to protect the computer) and virus program running (I personally have several antivirus programs that get along together).
So I guess I'd place talk (communication) in first position followed by a huge discussion (and continuing on week by week) as to what is really going on "out there" in the world AND on the Internet and how to handle it as best one can. This reminds me of parents who read their kid's diary. That's a no-no, but this is now and that was then. I might be "tempted" to follow the crumbs to the cookies, but then what? The instant you "pounce" (not recommended) on a kid just from seeing where s/he has been you have created even more distrust. This kid seems to want some privacy as do most normal teens. So back to the issue of open communication always done with love, understanding, active listening, feedback. Use a gentle but firm touch always. Treat your kids as you would be treated by anyone else.
Talk to your kid! It's the very best guard against the "bad guys" you have!
Submitted by: Lindsay in Oregon
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Answer:
As blunt an non-technical as this answer is going to be, somehow I think it is going to be a whole heap more important.
How about you try talking with your child instead of breaching her privacy and destroying whatever trust she has in you? Communication is the key here.
She may be doing something that you don't approve of, but more than likely she is being a typical teenage girl who is doing what all teenage girls (and teenage boys for that matter) do, which is go through a rebellious phase.
Personally if I were in the situation that you were in, I'd try a good communication strategy well before forcibly invading her privacy. But then again, I'm not you, I don't know your family history or your situation, but trust in your family is something that takes a long time to earn back, and you could just be exacerbating the situation here.
Submitted by: Sam of Sydney, Australia.
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This is in response to Pam...from Michigan and her Parental control question.
In my opinion, the best parental control programs are the parents themselves. It she feels she has to hide something it is time (or overdue) for a very calm and open and frank discussion. And do it NOW. There are many sites out there that can corrupt her well being to say nothing about porn and sexual predators. She's going to find out you are snooping (of course with her well being in mind but she won't see it that way) and then you're going to be on her hate list for a long time and she won't trust you anyway! Make sure you discuss this in a very adult way and do not belittle her. The more information you can share with her the more you will instil confidence in her and give her strength to reject negative info from the internet and her peers.
Have you contacted her school to see if they can shed any light on recent trends? Even the police depart will tell you what's happening...if they are aware of anything. These people usually know things before the parents do!
Having said all that I'm sure someone will give you the name of a good program. Good luck!
Sharon
A concerned mom.
Submitted by: Sharon
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Answer:
I have one answer to Pam's query re her teenager's access to the internet. It's the same answer I give my own customers who are parents.
I explain that no parent in history has EVER successfully controlled a teenager's actions by force for very long. Any teenager has friends who have computers. If you lock up the one at home he or she will just go elsewhere. Teenager wins - Parent loses.
I am very concerned about the parenting skills and practises of parents who feel it's quite OK to invade their child's privacy and impose their own will upon them. We all know ahead of time what the reaction of the child is going to be so... as far as I'm concerned, only VERY STUPID PARENTS go this route. They NEVER win in either the short or long term. Often they wind up building a wall between themselves and their children that will last a lifetime.
The WISE parent, on the other hand, sits down with their child and surfs the net with them... to the good places AND THE BAD. The wise parent explains the risks and hazards along with the benefits and pleasures. The wise parent DISCUSSES... DOES NOT LECTURE. The wise parent sets time limits for being online. The wise parent locates the computer where the screen can be seen by anyone in the family (explaining that everyone in the family needs access). NEVER locate the computer in the bedroom of anyone under the age of 16. The wise parent DOES NOT THREATEN TO TAKE AWAY COMPUTER PRIVILEDGES (see reason above). The wise parent lets their child know why they're concerned (please leave out the MORALIZING - gets you nowhere) and that they (the parent) is open to discuss ANYTHING the child finds on the internet... yup... from the putrid porn to the Pope, WITHOUT GOING OFF THE DEEP END. Of course, that could be the problem... that the parent has less insight and ability to deal rationally with the REAL WORLD than the child does. Contrary to popular folklore, older doesn't necessarily mean wiser.
Finally, forget the babysitting software... it will not only tangle up any system, but accomplishes firmly in the child's mind that they are NOT TRUSTED... and believe me, if you want to screw up a relationship I can't think of a much better way to do it than to demonstrate that you don't trust them!
Submitted by: Richard E. MSW (retired)
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Answer:
Dear Pam,There is no software in this world that can solve this kind of problems, Try to gain her confidence,trust and treat her like a friend and find out why she has been changing passwords and what is in her mind. being father of a young daughter, I have learnt to handle this kind of problems,and often succeeded.By trying to know what she is upto through some software,she may adopt some other advance methods which are avaliable on net to hide her tracks.
Submitted by: badal g.
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Answer:
This is about the parental concern that their daughter has become very secretive about her activities on line. Well, first of all, I would be very concerned if I were those parents. I'd sit down and talk with the teenager, emphasizing that she either allow some kind of parental involvement with her on line activities or the computer will be shut down, taken away or restricted in some way. As far as keeping tabs on her activities from a reliable method, there really is no way to do that if the teenager doesn't cooperate. There are always ways to get around them, and teenagers seem to know what they are. Instant messaging and unhealthy sexual sites on the WEB are two of the most worrisome activities that the teenagers participate in. You must get a password protected computer so she can't get on without getting the password from you, you put it in yourself without her being there. And, this isn't completely safe. They seem to figure them out. Also, don't put the computer in her room. that is always trouble.
Good Luck. My solutions are just basic ones that have nothing to do with the actual computer, but with the way the computer is presented to her and advise about the use of the computer.
Not easy
Submitted by: Kay
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Pam, while I understand your concern, creating an atmosphere of spying and privacy invasion is not going to help? I know the times are changing, but this is akin to you turning the house upside down to find the key to her diary. She is going to have a life of her own and the best thing you can do now is respect her and be open if she does want to talk. Trying to pry out personal information is likely to cause a breakdown of trust and perhaps spark a far more serious rebellion than changing her passwords.
Good luck!
Submitted by: Dean K.
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Answer:
If your daughter is trying to keep you from knowing her actions on the computer the answer is not in software. It is in the location of the computer, her time allowed on it, and your management of it. A simple technician visit would uncover all the info you could ever want to know and may alienate your daughter.
The Internet has become a dangerous place and parents need to be firm in this area. Move the computer to a room where there is lots of family traffic and drop by to see what she is doing. This is not an invasion of privacy. She is a child and you are the parent. It is obvious she knows you won't approve of her actions by the way she is covering her tracks. Have a chat. Take control. Lastly, pull the plug.
I realize this is not the most popular answer. Children need more supervision, not more freedom. I am a tech who deals with this daily. Most parents fail to handle this well. Most do the software thing only to get caught spying and further harm the relationship. Rules and boundaries! Good Luck.
Submitted by: Ken M.
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You could start by developing an open & communicable relationship with your daughter, being someone she can trust and stop violating her basic human right to privacy. Chances are the damage is already done. There are some very good therapists who have great "programs" for people like you. If you don't want your daughter seeing certain sites, buy Zone Alarm Pro which will allow you to block access to any internet site. This is within the realm of your authority as a parent if she is a minor. Apart from this I do not believe you will help your daughter but certainly will damage your relationship even more by "tracking & logging" any aspect of her life whatsoever. Get some professional help and begin sorting out your own control issues and narrowminded perspective on relationships & human rights in general.
Submitted by: David Y.
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Just because we live today in a paranoid, fearful, national security police state, where John Ashcroft feels justified in sneaking around your computer without a warrant any time he likes, to "protect" us, doesn't mean you are justified in extending that fear down to your children in order to "protect" them - when it may in fact be little more than a smokescreen for your own lack of faith in your kids, or even your own parenting skills.
I think you have problems in your family relationships that are far more significant than whether or not you should plant some sort of spyware on your daughter's PC. Thr first thing you should do is have some very open talks with your daughter. Teenagers take a lot of stock in "privacy", and if you've rummaged around her room when she wasn't there in the past (as an example) she would lose trust in you, and feel justified in securing her PC. Planting spyware will simply make things worse, as she will find out, and withdraw further - with extreme anger in the bargain. If tech-savvy kids want to have clandestine conversations away from mom's prying eyes, they will find a way to do so.
I am the "tech support" guy for both my wife's and daughter's computers - I could have easily planted a keystroke logger or some other spyware any time I wished. Of course I did not, as I love and trust my family, and respect their privacy, as I would want my own respected.
I think some open discussions about your concerns, followed up by some family counseling, if warranted, would be far healthier than sneaking around behind your daughter's back.
Submitted by:
Thomas O. of New York
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Answer:
Secretly installing a spy program on her teenager's computer is a terrific way to reinforce the idea that parents are not to be trusted. It's a terrible idea that only gets worse when her child figures out what her parents have done.
If the concern is that her child is doing things that are unsafe, the answer is to put the computer in a "public" room in the house: Living Room, Family Room, whatever. That way one can easily eyeball the screen to see that there is nothing inappropriate going on. The other thing that Ms DeWitt needs to understand is that the only really dangerous thing that teenagers get into online is communicating with perverts masquerading as teenagers. Kids need to understand that the only people they should be messaging are people they know in real life already.
Otherwise, if the problem is that her child is spending too much time online, the answer is to turn the computer off, and you don't need a spyware program to do that.
Submitted by: Liz T.
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Answer:
The best parental control is the parent.
"Ground" her from the computer for a week or longer. Remove and hide the power cord. If she is, as many users are, addicted to the Internet, she will act in a similar way as drug addicts react when deprived of their drug of choice: agitation, short-tempered, etc., but she will eventually find something else to occupy her time. Just hope it is a positive activity.
Submitted by: Thomas C.
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Answer:
This lady needs to develop a relationship with her daughter. Spying on the kid is NOT going to fix the problem. Sit down, have a talk with her. But don't stop there. Take her out on a regular basis, get involved in her life. Have regular daily contact. Is she a sushi freak? Take her out to dinner at her favorite sushi restaurant at least once a month. Does she like movies? Take her to her favorite movie. Have you ever heard of the movie "Napoleon Dynamite"? Probably not, but I bet you she has!
My suggestion is a long-term solution, not a computer program you can buy and install and peep on her anonymously. What will you do when she finds out you are spying on her? You will lose what little relationship you still have with her.
Submitted by: Tina R.
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Answer:
In answer to the parent concerned with her teenage daughter's online activities, there is a simple, and non-technical, answer.
Be a parent!
There is NO reason, ever, for a child to hide ANY online activities from their parents. So either she provides full disclosure of her activities, and uses passwords YOU pick, or she's off the computer.
If after a week of lost access, she still refuses to come clean, call your ISP and have her email accounts closed, then change your logon and email passwords.
While you at it, make sure you know her friends AND their parents and tell them she's not allowed internet access from their homes, either.
She can have her internet "privacy" when she moves out from under your roof. Letting her have it now is just asking for trouble. And trying to spy on her activities is WORSE in my opinion than simply stating the rules that must be followed in order to have the PRIVELAGE of internet access.
Her changing her passwords is all the proof you need that she is engaging or planning to engage in activities that you would not approve of. So cut her off now, before it's too late.
Submitted by: Ken N. of Glendale, AZ
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Answer:
My first question would be to ask how old your daughter is.
Privacy, even at home, is a hot issue. There are plenty of programs out there to monitor instant messenger programs, log passwords, take screen captures, and log where the kids browse to on the Internet. Not all of them work as simple as advertised though. I tried two - one didn't work, and the other crashed the system somewhat frequently. While we all want to know what our kids are doing, they want their privacy too. I took this as a hint I had the wrong approach.
In the end it comes down to respect and communication. If you communicate with your son/daughter, learn what's going on in their lives, taking the role of a listener and advisor, you'll know for the most part what's going on and what their concerns are.
If your daughter has changed her passwords and become secretive, it's time to sit down with her and find out what's going on in her life.
Not to minimize potential, but it really could be nothing. Use of a computer is a priviledge, and should be treated as such, with rules about the use of it. We have an understanding with our kids that if they abuse the priviledge, they lose computer priviledges for a month. If you're perceptive, you'll be able to tell when your son/daughter is up to something.
The answer is to be an involved parent. Find out where your kids are going and follow up once in a while by calling parents/chaperones.
Who are her friends? What are they like? Have rules about where your kids can and cannot go, and when. Have a curfew. Imagine your daughters reaction if you install a program, and she finds out about it and confronts you with issues of privacy, trust, and respect over nothing.
If she's already secretive at that point, you could drive her further away as a result of your actions. If you want to find out what's going on in her life, ask. Be a parent. Get involved.
Submitted by: Tim V.
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Answer:
In response to the question about programs that can log what is going on, on the the computer: The parent should let this kid change their password so that they have a feeling that they are being trusted. If ever that trust is broken, or anything suspicious comes up, then there are many keyboard loggers that the parents could download. Taking away someones privacy can cause a lot of problems, and being a 19 year old myself, I have gone through a few similar problems myself with my parents. I hate the feeling of someone watching over my back, and if its the wrong time I can get very anoyed and end up saying/doing things I didnt mean to say/do. When you are logging what someone types, regaurdless of their age, you are invading their privacy. If any hacker or guest in your house is able to go onto the computer, all that personal/"secret" information can be let out. If you a problem with your kids, trying to figure out their lives without asking them will just cause tension between the family and that is unhealthy and uncomfortable for anyone. It's the parent's decision if they want to monitor all acts on a computer, but the child will find out and problems will arise, and the child will probably not want to open up to their parents about certain issues. Being young, even when my parents tried to hold me back from things, I found my way around things. It was harder to accomplish and I did some stupid things trying to accomplish them (IE: sneak out of the house, use a friends computer, etc.). As a parent, you have a right to know what your child is doing, but as long as you monitor their behavior away from the computer, you will be able to notice if anything is suspicious.
Hopefully this helps, if you still need a keyboard logger, you can find them all over the internet, you just have to research the ones that you consider using. Thank you.
Submitted by: Charles D.
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Answer:
The answer to the guys problem of , "his daughter changign her passwords & secrecy"! She's
letting you know it's time to "cut the apron strings" and let her have her privacy! She's also
letting you know she is a responsible teen who needs to have the choice of making the right choice! it's not a matter of "what program can I use to break into her password protected , program"!
There are plenty out there but I won't tell you because you've forgotten how you were as a teen and the importance of "privacy"! If you "push" your children will "push back" as well as rebel! Then you've got a real problem!
This is my advice, forget the intrusion programs because when you find one they will find another one and so on and on and on!
Thank you,
Submitted by: B,H,
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Answer:
FIRST, you need to talk to her and ask her what she is doing without making ANY accusations. Have her show you what she is doing and tell her you are proud of her interest in computers - that may be all that is needed. It may just be she is getting interested in the opposite sex etc. If not, and you are willing to invade her privacy (which I would for _/*my own*/_ daughter's safety), you could download a keylogger (from *www.download.com* among others), and install it to get her passwords and see what is going on. I do NOT believe ANYONE has a right to invade a non-violent action on the Internet (or anywhere else). But you MUST find out if her new behavior is physically dangerous to her.
In my opinion the less you have to do to solve this problem the better - but do EVERYTHING YOU believe is needed. Just remember she may hold anything you do against her if she feals it is unfair to her - and that is the LAST thing you want to happen!!!! You can catch more bees with honey than with vinegar!
GOOD LUCK!!!!!!
Submitted by: anonymous
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Answer:
What is wrong with parents now? They want to spy, but do not want to take control. The question of a parental control program is also the answer. It is called parental control. The parents must control their own children's use of the computer. The last thing should be a program to spy. Also this does not help with all the internet cafes, etc. You might force the child to use a computer other than the one you control.
The question does not include the age of the child; however, control depends on the age; rules should be applied as to the use of the computer. A little trust goes a long way. A pact with the child that no program should be used with a password that the parent does not know, and in return a promise that it will not be used unless it is an emergency or the child gives the parent reason to believe that they must see what is being done.
I have five children, so I believe my response has credibiity. Two technical responses come to mind. A password to the computer so that the computer cannot be used without the parent's knowledge and permission, and two, the "history" of the computer.
The danger is not where the child has been on the computer, as much as to whom the child may be speaking. Personally, I forbid chat lines only instant messengers with people they (I) know. Children like their privacy, and it may be harmless, but the relationship between the parent and child is the only method of assuring harmless activities, not only on the computer, but in everyday situations. So sit down with your child and make mutual rules over the use of the computer and the internet activities. For God's sake, don't spy on your child.
Submitted by: Baiyun W
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Answer:
Ref. the daughter who daughter has recently changed all her passwords and has become very secretive.
You don't need a technical solution. You need a personal one, so have a discussion with your daughter to remind her that Internet access is a privilege, not a right, and with that privilege comes certain responsibilities on her part -- namely, your peace of mind. You're not trying to snoop, you're trying to keep her safe. Why? Because you love her. So tell her that. Remember who's in charge here -- and think of this as setting limits for her when she wants to get a driver's license (you ARE going to monitor THAT behavior, too, aren't you?).
Submitted by: Alan P
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Answer:
it seems to me that the biggest question is Who is truly in control, the parent or the child?
if a parent cannot control what and where their child goes and does on the internet it seems as if the
child is in control. but if the parent is in control the internet connection will be unaccessable
for an errant child until he/she proves they are responsible enough to follow the rules.
Remember that no amount of software is a replacement for PARENTINAL SUPERVISION!!!!!!
thanx
jim (another concerned parent)
Submitted by: Jim
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Against the grain...
by Guardian2090 - 2/11/05 3:43 AM In reply to: Miscellaneous member opinions and suggestions by Lee Koo (ADMIN)
From personal experience, I HAVE to make this post that is completely different from most of what I've read here so far. As a parent of a teenager I can tell you that this notion of "teenage privacy" is disturbing. Privacy rights are earned. They are not entitled to privacy just because they reach a certain age. Sure you want to respect their "space" and not walk into their room unannounced or into the bathroom on them, but if you as the parent have reason to believe that they are involved in activities that are unhealthy, it is your RESPONSIBILITY as a parent to intervene. Sure you want to communicate and build trust, those are always good things. But the truth is that it is our job to prepare them for adulthood. THEY ARE NOT YET ADULTS.
Rights and privileges are earned through their ability to make solid decisions. They are not always correct decisions, but as a parent we can see if they are trying to make the correct decisions. I do believe that there are some software tools that can help. If you don't know your child is making bad and unhealthy decisions you can not help them.
We use Family Guardian as an Internet filter and SpectorSoft's eBlaster to log their chats and email. Both of these programs can be set up in stealth mode where they wont know they are there. Family Guardian blocks Internet content based on YOUR choices of what is appropriate and what is not. It also has a logging feature that allows you to see where they have surfed. It will even send you an email if they attempt to access inappropriate content. You can also set it up not to filter but just log their activity. eBlaster catches everything else. It logs their chats, email and even their word processing documents. It is your decision whather or not to tell the kids that you have installed any of these types of programs. We choose to tell outkids that we have taken steps to monitor their online activities. They didn't mind at all. Some parents do not tell their kids and that is their decision.
As a counseling assistant, I can tell you that there are hundreds of people that come through our offices for counseling because of the effects of inappropriate Internet behavior. From porn addiction that is ruining a persons real life relationships, or inappropriate chat relationships outside of marriage, to actual child sexual abuse from online predators, the Internet poses real a grave dangers for our kids.
If we hide our head in the sand, the only ones we are hurting are our kids.
Re: Miscellaneous member opinions and suggestions
by caryyy - 2/11/05 7:35 AM In reply to: Miscellaneous member opinions and suggestions by Lee Koo (ADMIN)
Never NEVER, say "I don't have children myself" and then presume to offer any advice whatsoever on how to deal with children. It's a fool's errand as every human being who DOES have children can tell you. For all your good intentions, if you don't have children, you don't know what you're talking about. 
Is that like. . .
by techtype - 2/11/05 7:44 AM In reply to: Re: Miscellaneous member opinions and suggestions by caryyyIs that is that like having never been married, you should not give advice on marriage?
Rick, Warren, MI
How presumptuous and arrogant can you be!
by gbswales - 2/11/05 8:32 AM In reply to: Re: Miscellaneous member opinions and suggestions by caryyyI am a parent of two young adults - one 16 and one 22 - I have so often encountered this kind of response that I cant just sit by and let it pass.
Very often the best advice will come from someone who can look at a situation objectively rather than emotionally. As a parent it is often difficult to stand back objectively and let your kids become what they want to be - the son who realises he is gay for example. How many teenage lives have ended up on psychiatrists couch or worse still in suicied, because of being told over and over what they want to be is WRONG.
Dont get me wrong not all parents are homophobic or burying their heads in the sand and pretending their 15-16 year olds are not interested in sexual things. I know many parents who do allow their offspring to explore their feelings and as such are able to discuss them and help them work through things without judging them. However sometimes a young person who feels they are gay, for example, will need the support and friendship of someone who understands such relationships more than parents who maybe totally straight. (Apologies for continually citing the gay community its just that this is so often an area of concern particularly I notice in the US)
We do not "own" our children and the development of the next generation is the resonsibility of everyone rather than just parents. It is a foolish person indeed who rejects any advice without consideration. Before arguing that non parents know nothing about children consider that EVERYONE has better experience - by having been a child themselves.
Incidentally I do wish we could stop talking about young adults as children - my 16 year old would be mortified (and quite rightly so) at being classified as a child!!
However you dress up the act, and however you seek to justify it, - covert surveillance of your young adults is an unwarranted intrusion of their private lives - if you suspect something bad then your aim should be to prevent it, and telling them that they are being watched is more effective than finding out afterwards. I have no objection to open surveillance techniques.
A 16 year old is pretty much an adult (legally so in the uk for some things). We must also respect that each generation has different values - encouraging, guiding, explaining and helping them deal with issues - all that is much more effective, and is what we as parents should be doing along with the rest of the non parenting community.
Re: How presumptuous and arrogant can you be!
by caryyy - 2/11/05 9:15 AM In reply to: How presumptuous and arrogant can you be! by gbswalesQuite, I guess...
You're dreaming - non-parents know nothing of the responsibilities of raising children. And 'yes' to techtype, it's the same with non-marrieds. You're in fantasy land if you have kids and you think people without kids know more about what it's like to raise kids than you. I won't follow up on this anymore, because it's totally off topic. I apologize to anyone I may have offended.
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